Yes Yes Y-NO!

Mike Lipkin is someone I feel very close to even though we've never met. I once saw him at a restaurant in Cape Town, and I did feel he had a powerful persona. I am usually not shy to approach people, even important people, but in his case I was nervous. I can't really explain it. Perhaps I thought he would be really sharp and intimidating. Maybe I expected an aggressive, unpredictable reaction to a pointed personal question. He seems warm, but I know I wanted to talk to him about some of his personal experiences and in the end I did not bring myself to do that.

I would describe him as the poor man's Tony Robbins, and if you think that is an insult, it's not. I just think Tony Robbins is incredibly successful and very wise, and he has really made an earnest attempt to understand what he is doing. His life speaks for itself. Robbins was basically a really overweight guy. By tranforming himself in mind and body he released a fantastic amount of energy, and was so inspired by this that he decided to make his life's work about studying how to be effective, what makes success, how can people be happy, how is the best way to live? He wanted to share his strategies. He calls himself a coach, and that is a role I respect. A coach is a father, a brother, a manager, a friend, a helper, a director, a doctor, a motivator, a mover, a psychologist, a visionary, a support structure.

Mike Lipkin did not lose control of his body, but of his mind first and foremost, and I think one has to be careful if you are going to come back and work in the same neighborhood. I am not saying he is defective, I am just saying that he suffered an almost mortal blow by living for so long in such a sickening (to the soul)environment. My opinion, and that's all it is, is that it may not be the best thing to come right back and do something different, but not very different from the original thing that almost cost him his sanity. A motivational speaker is not that far removed from an advertising exec. A motivator is just someone shouting instructions from a microphone. My perception is that Mike's primary purpose is to MOTIVATE. I think there is guidance, but the primary goal is MOTIVATE. And if your primary purpose is to motivate, maybe that comes from an inner need to motivate himself. It's just an idea.

I think Mike is a brilliant salesman, a brilliant marketer. He is very driven, very determined, very crisp, very precise. He speaks in a very clear, sharp, almost terse manner. At one time, he was the No:1 man in the South African advertising industry. That is an achievement of some kind, but I am also not sure whether it is a compliment. Being able to drive yourself also requires the ability to know when to stop, to know when enough is enough. Lipkin seems insatiable, as most people in advertising are. Peace, contentedness, and satisfaction do not seem to be part of his motivational message. They should be. I have not listened to all his tapes, so again, I may be mistaken. But I have a hunch that the underlying spirit in Lipkin's programs are The Pursuit of More, not a holistic approach to simply Be More of Who You Are. Is he trying to make us into his image, his aspirations of MORE MORE MORE, YES YES YES?

I learnt a few things through reading about Lipkin's experiences. Two areas were particularly invaluable. Both were cautionary tales. I am not implying that this guy is evil. Far from it. In fact it's the opposite, but I do feel that while what he says is brilliant, it is also flawed.

The first thing I learnt was through an article he wrote in a SA magazine called STYLE. In it he recounted how he suffered from manic depression, and the terrible and maddening symptoms that go with that. He had a few shock treatments, and one day 'woke up' and heard the birds singing, felt the sunshine. He went through hell and he found a way out. It is a lesson I wish I was privy to earlier, because it would have helped my mother.
It helped me to understand what happened to her. It helped me understand depression as a mental disease, to some extent (perhaps to no extent but I don't want to seem brutal) self inflicted, but never a terminal life sentence unless you have chosen it (consciously or subconsciously) to be as such.

The great merit in his story was that he was able to communicate a clear message about the mindmess that is depression, a message that is often hidden and unintelligible to the average depression sufferer or survivor. Many people are ashamed of it. Few people realise that at some time or another almost everyone suffers from depression. It is a sign that we live in a society that inevitably causes a sickening of the mind. It requires an act of will, and acts of resistance, to restore one's process to a healthier medium.
People who recover and try to pretend their depression never happened do their friends and family a disservice.

It is like the blood and the bodies after a car crash. All too often these are washed away and removed before more than a handful of motorists see what can happen. I know a few people who suffer from depression, on and off, and many seem to feel overwhelmed by it and put the whole gamut of dealing with it in the hands of a doctor and in the prescribed medications. I don't change what happens to me if I don't change myself, and what I am doing.

A mental disease means that a new way of thinking, a new attitude - not just one day pep talks - a whole new lifestyle is what will bring you back into Wellness. I have been depressed a few times. Recently, I was a bit depressed after my second Ironman didn't happen. That was a hit that I needed some time to stand up from. I feel I am quite good at climbing out of it. I have never used drugs to get out. I have used a mixture of exercise, prayer and a search for truth. About myself and for new principles on how to live. What I haven't understood clearly until now is that the best way to make massive and permanent changes to behaviour is by changing my identity. That may seem difficult but it is in fact just a question of addressing our habits, and the beliefs that lead to these habits. Often I realise I believe something in terms of behaviour, but in fact, it is not my true belief, or my true identity, but actually a real choice.

One of the key ways towards mastery is recognising that power over self cannot be found outside of the self. It starts within the self, although something outside of the self, a book, a text, a supportive gesture, a glimpse of reality reflected in someone elses life, may help to direct one's attention to the Deepness inside oneself. A mental disease can be cured by changing focus. And changing focus is merely a change in where I direct my will. And that is a question of choice. Depressed people feel like they have no power, no choices, and they need to be reassured that this is just an illusion.

I emailed Mike Lipkin once and I expressed my concern that his Self Help Programs were perpetuating his own dysfunctions into his audience. I asked him about it and I was open to him showing me that I was mistaken. He said to me that it was the choice of his customers to buy or use his ideas. I was not convinced. I feel strongly about this because it involves my own personal beliefs, and Mike Lipkin helped me to see and define mine in two crucial areas. He is successful, so there is no doubt that there is a lot of truth, a lot of good in what he is offering. I am being very strict about the whole process, and I am also being candid in saying, "Mike, this may be all good, but is it all good for you?" It's just a question, and one worth asking I feel.
All the things that led to his original depression (perfectionism, endless self-defeating attempts to be the best, to be constantly happy, constantly successful) are still imbedded in these 'new' motivational visions and ideas that seem basically good, basically healthy.

One of the things you have to realise is that it is normal to sometimes feel unhappy, to sometimes suffer a setback - that this is all part of the learning experience, it is all part of Life. Living life to the full doesn't imply the advertising executives matra which is MORE MORE ALWAYS MORE. Yes, determination, motivation, confidence, passion, fire - all these things add up to a richer existence. But so are the more sublte, unmarketable qualities. A richer existence also comes from simple qualities: knowing yourself, knowing how far to stretch yourself, knowing how much stress is healthy and how much is harmful. Knowing that love of excess is not always the result of passion, but often generated by greed. Do I pursue needs for gratification or fulfillment? These are subtleties that driven people are not often aware of. Motivators, the worst of them, like to pursue speed over patience, results over prudence. Mike Lipkin is one of the better class of Motivators out there. Justin Cohen is another.

When Mike recovered from his depression, I was interested to see what he would do - what job he would do after his stint in advertising. It would give me an idea of what I might do. I watched him very carefully because I felt in many ways we share similar temperaments. When I was studying advertising, I also studied him. I knew I could walk in his footsteps if that is what I chose. I know I have what it takes to excel in advertising but I chose not to go that route. I chose not to be a professional chameleon (able to satisfy every client, but forgetting my self in the process).

When Mike chose to be a motivational speaker I studied his ideas and I saw that many have merit. But initially I doubted the integrity and genuineness of it. I wondered what the source of it was. Why was he doing this? What were his motivations? Was Motivational Speaking just another way for him to survive or was it borne out of sincerity? Was this another way to skillfully manipulate? I thought a lot of it was clever, but it was not, in my opinion, really wholesome stuff. It was Jerry MacGuire. It may be a better approach but it still takes the same risks, still pretends to be Mr Yes Man. I looked at the pictures of the man that was smiling on the books and I wondered whether a life of constant pep talks, of the same spin, whether the process of delivering that was something that enhanced his life. I doubted whether Mike had learned a real lesson from his depression, because making a life out of motivational speaking did not seem to me to be the best way forward. Would it be meaningful? Would it not become hollow posturing all over again and covering up another growing inner emptiness. Maybe my assessments weren't accurate. I don't know the answers, but these were my questions. And they say something about me and what I was searching for. You can see how closely cynicism and inspiration were wound in me.

The second thing I got from Mike was how to approach work. I began to approach work not just as a job, but as a lifestyle, and knowing that a job brings with it a certain pattern of mental energy that is either going to fulfill you or drain you. Teaching has turned out to be the former, and I have no doubt, that advertising would have become ultimately hard to survive. I am still challenged to try, but I have no illusions that the marketing arena has the most intense concentration of all that is false in the world. It is all about manipulation, and to succeed you have to be a master at manipulating. Success in this environment is not true success. It is skill at deception. That's not true success. Perhaps it is if you truly believe you are manipulating people to do something useful with their lives. But manipulation is still wrong.

Is Mike Lipkin still in the manipulation business? Is that where I will go, even if only for a season?

People should do what they do out of choice, out of an act of will - not because you have asked them, "Are you happy all the time? Are you at your best all the time?" Hold up the highest standards and any person is going to concede that they can do something better, that possibly they need something...

I would like to be involved in marketing where it is not manipulative but motivational, not about neediness and insecurity, but fulfillment and confidence. Maybe that is what Mike is doing. Like I said, I feel we have a similar process. There are a few jobs out there like that. I think one is the job of selling education. The teacher. The funny thing is the things that are true in and of themselves don't need a sales pitch, they sell themselves. People know what works. People recognise the truth. Advertising often is about tricking people into believing something new, something irrelevant.
Advertising often preys on weakness, and often I feel Self Help Gurus prey on The Depressed, or The Weak, by Offering Strength in a Book, or in a Tape. Much of Lipkin's material would appeal to people simply seeking to improve their lives. Is there anything wrong with that?

I think Mike Lipkin means well. I think so. But I wonder, in the hypothetical sense, the way academics wonder, whether the overall effect is good. I think it is worth caring about that. I am curious about that. I wonder what life is like to have to motivate others on a daily basis. What about those seasons when the motivator goes through a down cycle? It is quite depressing to read (or shout) empty slogans all the time. The simple truths are the most powerful. To be a champion you have to be consistent. It may sound boring, it may sound hard, but there it is. When you are down, that is a reality you have to face. Spin is not going to get you up and running, certainly not for long. I'd like to know, because I'd like to see where Mike goes. It may give me an idea where I am going too. I guess I see him as a kind've alter ego, maybe even a role model.

Tony Robbins seems to be living out his own concept of Mastery. His recipe is different, but I believe the ingredients are the same. All the great truths come from the same Source. Tony does not seem to be seeking an eternal (unreachable)high. He merely seeks to constantly improve on what he is doing, and he tries to get his clients to do the same. I've seen shadows of this belief in Lipkin's programs - what he calls Expect More. Constant improvement and great expectations...I can subscribe to that. But a subscription still requires authorisation and that is a private and personal contract I make with me, and you make with you.
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