Total Triathlete

It's 4:28am and what am I doing? I'm reading the book Corneli ordered through Amazon: Total Triathlete by Mark Allen. (I'm also downloading 4 movies, including The Bourne Supremacy.)

As you may have guessed I have not gone to Thailand for the Laguna Phuket race, nor have I signed up with Mark Allen's eGrip coaching program. I have signed up at the gym, and I have this book. But triathlon has been at a low ebb for me lately, and I've been meaning to remedy that, or at least understand why.

Although I was very pleased about the gift, this waned a little when I saw the book was published in 1988, and it's basically just a story of Allen's first experiences in the sport, as opposed to a scientific annalysis of the sport. I have read Dave Scott's book and the book, I guess, is like Dave Scott: hardcore, precise, detailed, perfect in a lot of ways. But Allen's book has heart, and I think that is the type of book I need right now. I need a mentor, I need motivation, I need insight, I need some love and support. There is some of this in this book. I need to feel passion, inspiration, courage and enjoyment for this sport again. And I can already feel his stories start to kindle little flames, drawing some fiery feelings over the cold slate.

I think I am afraid to say, "You know, I'm not feeling that motivated any more. You know I missed the mark twice, in the two most important races. You know some guy who I introduced to the sport, who was once my buddy, came along and beat me in every race we did together, barring the one I won, where he was disqualified. Did I even do nearly as well as I could have this past season? So where do I go from here? How do I get that competitive spirit again? How to I get back into the hardcore guy who trains like a machine. How do I become strong, and lean, and mean?"

Reading books on the subject, studying up on the subject, is one way. Doing different things, getting refreshed, disconnected, is another. Forgetting about it altogether (okay, for almost a week), and then saying, 'Do you care that you're not training? Would it bother you if you passed up Ironman South Africa?' That is another way, and not a less effective way either.

For a moment, I can say that maybe I could let the race go. But I won't. Not without a fight. Not without another very decent, very qualitative effort. It is what I love to do. I love to try, I love to see what I can do in these events. I know I can do very well. I know what sort of race quality I can produce. I know that on a good day, with good conditioning, I can scare even the best guys in this sport. And that's my mission. To scare the living daylights out of someone who doesn't even know who I am. Someone will be on his bike and he'll see me coming out of nowhere and I'll have him, a pro or whatever, running scared. That's the mission.

So this book is motivating me, and inspiring me, and I am moving closer to being a TOTAL TRIATHLETE once more. It is heartening to see that, like Tim deBoom, Allen was poised to become a medical doctor, and realised he wanted more out of life than that. People who do this sport are really driven. And they are not dummies. They have chosen this as part of an intelligent decision, it's part of a meaningful process on how we choose to live our lives. Allen wants a life that he had chosen, a full life, an active life, a life in the sun. Not a textbook, made-for-parents job.

I can obviously identify with that attitude of living your life, at last, for yourself. Having the courage to actually say, "You know, my life is mine and I am going to do something with it that stirs my guts, that inspires me and brings me enjoyment." The tradeoff is that I might not be as rich as I would have been if I was a lawyer, or an account executive for some advertising company. But at least I can pursue my dreams, and do something meaningful with my life. At least I can see what I can do.

So should I go for a third attempt at an Ironman? Should I lay all this out, all this time and money and effort, and emotional energy, laid out once again. You bet! Why? Do I need a reason to try to do the same thing again, to try to do it better? Here's just one rationale, and the quote on page 57 is from David K. Reynolds: The arrow that hits the bull's-eye is the result of the one hundred previous misses.