How to be Unhappy

I quite enjoyed reading these:

Make little things bother you. Don't just let them, MAKE them.

Lose your perspective on things and keep it lost: don't put first things first.

Get yourself a good worry, one about which you cannot do anything.

Be a perfectionist, which means not that you work hard to do your best, but that you condemn yourself and others for not achieving perfection.

Be right. Be always right. Be the only one who is always right, and be rigid in your rightness.

Don't trust or believe people, or accept them at anything but their worst and weakest. Be suspicious. Insist that others always have hidden motives.

Always compare yourself unfavorably to others. This guarantees instant misery.

Take personally everything that happens to you.

Don't give yourself wholeheartedly to anyone or anything.
Get rid of your sense of humor. Life is very serious and you should take yourself seriously. (Gail)

Two words: self-pity and lots of it. The whole world is definitely against you. (Gail)

Cultivate bad, addictive habits in yourself. Drink a lot. Smoke a lot. Eat a lot. (Gail)

Go silent whenever someone sparks up a conversation that you don't know about. Make sure to fidget, squirm, roll your eyes and bite your nails to the quick. Quickly change the subject at the first opportunity. (Nancy A Cara Sager)
Always build yourself up at the expense of others. Say things like "I could've told you that." (Nancy A Cara Sager)
You have the power to change other human beings. (Tammy McQuillan)


All people other than yourself are broken and You can fix them since you have Godly power. (Tammy McQuillan)

You can fix another person, but you can't do squat about yourself. (Tammy McQuillan)

Become irresistibly attracted to people who will never be there for you, on any level, ever.... (Sarah)

Never say "I'm sorry." (Nancy A Cara Sager)


Make sure you take things people say to you as an insult, and let them know it - especially if you know they didn't mean it that way! (A. M. W.).

Ask for help from somebody who is unsuccessful 4 weeks before the most important exam of your life and then believe them when they say, "Nobody ever passes that exam" (PGM)

Remember every little wrong that has ever been done to you, real or imagined. Gather those bad feelings & put them in a bag - it will be a large and heavy package. Then drag that bag behind you everywhere you go for the rest of your life. It is your ticket to unhappiness and your proof of how right you are about everything! (TC)

Scrutinize your partner's path with God and tell them what you see that they are doing wrong. After all, God talks to you, therefore you know what is best for others where God is concerned. (Viv)

Make sure you vocalize your unhappiness to your loved ones, every day! Share the wealth, take them with you! (Viv)

Say mean, hateful things about other people when they aren't around, but be nice to them when they are. Be sure no one except your partner hears the words you speak. (Viv)

Tell your partner how much you can't wait to get rid of them and remove them from your life. The next day, tell that same person how much you love them and how lucky you feel having being able to share your life with them. (Viv)
Yell, scream, and belittle your partner until they cry. Then smugly proclaim what a baby they are. (Tami)

Surround yourself with misogynistic alcoholics who cannot maintain a relationship. (Brigette C. Pepe)


"Don't ever let yourself feel pain or fear or sorrow. Instead, turn it instantly into anger, and then make sure to let your partner see that anger." (M.T.)


"Always remember that if your partner loves you, he or she can read your mind. There is never a need to share openly with them how you feel." (M.T.)

"Keep careful track of everything you do for your partner, and vice-versa. Remember, the person with the highest score loves the other the most. Be sure to keep your partner appraised of the score - especially when you are ahead." (M.T.)

"Believe every single negative thing anyone ever says about you. Forget about anything positive - they were obviously wrong!" (M.T.)

"Don't waste your time trying to better yourself. People that love you will obviously put up with anything you want to do. Instead, work diligently to change others - that is much more fun." (M.T.)

"Admitting you have a problem is the first, and a huge, step towards recovery. Be proud that you have the wonderful insight and honesty to admit you have a problem and stop right there. That should be plenty of work for anyone!" (M.T.)

"Surround yourself with only people that agree with everything you say. The last thing you need is contradictory opinions!" (M.T.)

"Don't think about your own flaws much at all - this only causes problems. After all, ignorance is bliss." (M.T.)

"Dwell on your flaws all the time. Never miss a chance to remind yourself that you are an imperfect person." (M.T.)

"Remember, home is where you can let your hair down and relax. No need to be polite and put your best foot forward at home. Save your best for the outside world." (M.T.)