Unsettled

Today was unsettled and unsettling.

I made some calculations. Based on those, the fact that my electricity bill was so high and unexpected (almost W400 000 for 2 months), and the extra teaching is supposed to be an agreement stretching at least until December, I started considering doing exactly that. But staying one more month (after November)is out of the question.

The kids were rambunctious, but possibly with good reason. Today is the last day of vacation from their public schools - the real drainer of their lifeblood.
So I asked one kid, whose English is about the best in the school, I asked him:
"Alex, so how do you feel about going back to school tomorrow."
"Fuck."
I had a kid throwing chips and biscuits into a fan, other kids shoving their feet at each other for them to smell, one little boy attacked another (hitting him in the face) after a rock, paper, scissors duel turned sour. Plenty of shouting, and shouting from me, but by now they know it's just words and shouts from me. They know now that I'm not going make them do anything.

I am just bored to tears. Minjung, the girl I met yesterday, a programmer, decided not to take this job. She pertinently asked me what I thought about the students. She would have seen for herself how lethargic and pathetic a lot of them are. It't not their fault. They're just easing into the comfortable space that a lack of discipline creates. If your school has a bozo structure, you're going to turn the students and teachers there into bozos. No big surprise there.
It's to her credit that she didn't settle for this place.
Pity though, I would have enjoyed her company and conversation I think. She seemed clever and shy, which is always an interesting combination.

I also felt bloated for most of the day. Just ate too much at Outback. Fell asleep on the way back, on the bus, and very nearly missed my stop. I need to find a pillow soon.