How to break your camera [without really trying] - a simple, step-by-step how-to guide

1. Go to a beach.
2. Remove camera from camera bag.
3. Place camera on the sand.
4. While this can suffice, for more effective results, place camera at ground level close to [or in] seawater.
5. Capture yourself being a wally by asking a photographer in the parking lot to shoot your act of stupidity.