Week 6 Day 4

Caught a cab with Mira and Corneli to LaFesta. Dinner at Spaghettia was good. Shame, Corneli is getting HUGE dentist bills for getting her teeth capped. For W1 million (about R5 502) you can go from here to Thailand for about 2 weeks, or Singapore for a week!

Fleet was unfortunately closed so I couldn't find out about replacing my Polar battery.

Caught a taxi home and when I stepped inside I just felt my engine immediately starting to shut down. I know I've committed to training every day during December, so I thought before I go to gym I'd lie down for a while. I was soon fast asleep (with the lights on and my clothes on). Woke up at 11:40pm, and decided not to go to gym.
Today is the first day that I haven't trained in December. I feel pretty worn out, and I will get sick at this rate if I don't get a good night's sleep soon.

My foot hurt a bit today. It's obviously a concern.
Maybe what is worrying me is the reality that something I really desire, to do this Ironman, well, it seems to be a little less likely now. Maybe all the emotion associated with the previous two attempts is weighing down on me, warning me, saying, beware. Beware, beware, don't make the same mistake again, beware of committing yourself, your time, your money, because you may be throwing it away. This is time set aside for enjoyment and fun, family and friends in South Africa, so make sure you use it well.

I don't want to be weighed down by the experience of going on an Ironman Mission. I want to be lifted up by it. I guess the injury I have just doesn't fit, doesn't make any sense, given the paradigm I have set for myself. Even so, I will continue to swim and gym, and get myself into shape, even if it's just for the beach. I have a strong belief in the possibility of it, and I will put my money on the chance that it somehow works out. I'm not going to bet against myself. At the same time, I need to see the situation, as it unfolds, as it is, and not how I want it to be. It's important that I can remain clear on what I am doing and how viable it is. I won't give up easily because, obviously, I am driven by a real sense of the value and meaning this experience (doing the Ironman in South Africa) will be for me.

I'm not feeling the Quan after missing gym tonight, but I've had 8 consecutive daysof training, and that's okay. Perhaps I can make up for it tomorrow by adding a second workout, maybe a cycle and a swim, or a cycle and a run, or a cycle and a visit to the gym. Whether that happens depends to a large degree if I can be sound asleep soon.

It's now 05:25and I am fairly wide awake. I've just gone to fetch the bike that I left at school, and while I was there I bought some beer. Hopefully that will slow me down and allow me to lapse into a coma or something soon.