Maguire ate some bad pizza and grew a conscience. Maybe I did too. I ate some leftover pizza from last night, after an unusual meeting. Bonusses were handed out, and I have to say it irks me not to receive anything.
Particularly irksome is the 4 hour Jerry Maguire moment I had a few weeks ago, when I fleshed out, during the wee hours, a whole new workweek, a whole new approach to how we teach. I printed it out on flashy paper. I felt like I had invested and committed myself, and the idea was sound. The idea was accepted in principle, but they wanted more. Perhaps it was just too big, too amorphous, because it was about 7 pages long, and in English, so no one (Korean) could fully understand it. And people don't care about what they can't understand.
2 Korean teachers got bonusses for ideas they contributed. I simply find it a bitter pill to swallow that my effort, which included a document, was overlooked.
It's at a moment like this that I have to choose not to hold on to a negative thought. Although I was in bed earlier enough this morning, the sandman just would not come, and I finally fell asleep after 9am.
My internal clock is totally out of sync. Rest is a resource and when it is removed, exercise becomes a chore, it becomes a hassle.
One possible solution to break this pattern of insomnia is to drink a few beers after midnight. The problem isn't that I am not tired, or sleepy. It seems to be that my body is switching off later and later, and also that the buzz in my mind just doesn't quit. It was 6am for a few weeks. Now it's 9am. That just makes the average day a lot harder to handle.
I do wonder whether there is something going on that I am not accepting, not open to, and that is what is keeping me up. Am I avoiding some important area? Am I unconscious to some vital information?
Tonight - bring on the beer.
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