Survivor South Africa (Panama)

It’s watchable, but not the real thing
by Nick van der Leek

Have you ever bought yourself a Vanilla Coke? Why not? Because the original is always best. The first thing you’ll notice about Survivor SA is the music. It’s weak and unrecognizable. And it’s like comparing the SABC news jingle to CNN’s. They don’t really compare, but you find yourself making one comparison after another to the American show, and in almost every department, the South Africans come off a lot weaker.

It would be fine if it was just a lack of style that was missing, since Survival is more about substance, than style, right? Right? Well, that’s arguable in this game, but the problem is that the substance, so far, of Survivor South Africa also appears inadequate. I was also surprised to see South Africans running through a Panamayan village, and stealing axes from a building (they were supposed to only get fuel). It gets ridiculous when someone nearly drowns during the first swim to the island. Hello Mr. Casting Agent, didn’t you check that your contestants can actually swim? COO KOOO!

On the other hand, it’s interesting to see South Africans running amuck, if only to compare them to the Americans. On the very first day Danielle says, “I don’t like this game.” Ummm, can we not immediately substitute her for someone more determined, and someone who wants to be there?

I don’t know if it’s a matter of too close for comfort, but I felt myself cringing at how amateurish some of our contestants were. Don, the oldest guy of the lot, immediately lay around and didn’t do anything except snip his toenails; he sulked right off the bat, and appeared to squint into a closed water bottle nozzle and then pour some of it over his arm. Um…COO KOOO! How on earth were these people selected? On the basis of stupidity?

When Don was voted off he declared indifferently: “I saw it coming.” There are probably several thousand people (like me!) who would have shown far, far more interest and passion and determination, and would have cared about being voted off the show. Has this guy even watched a single episode? To have someone immediately sitting around and sulking from day one makes one wonder who the casting agent is for this show. Well, here is a message for you too: COO KOOO again!

And it’s kind’ve eerie having Bayly using the very same lines Probst made famous: “The tribe has spoken.” More annoying is you often can’t hear what Bayly is saying.

On the positive side, the islands are beautiful and full of life, and Mzi has already demonstrated excellent fishing skills.
We’re also going to see some interesting antagonism in the next episode, where Mzi (the good fishermen) faces off with The White Loudmouth Guy With Big Muscles.
So far I like the restauranteer. He’s cool. Mzi also has my vote. The chicks are pretty dull and colorless, even in their blue bikinis, but perhaps it is too soon to tell.

Jeff Probst is the character I miss the most. Chris Bayly may take some getting used to, but he is always going to be compared to Probst, and Probst is after all, the voice and the face of Survivor. Bayly is like being asked to drink Vanilla Coke. Not bad, but wouldn’t you rather have the real thing?

So the jury’s out: Will this show grow on us, or just get on our nerves?


Survivor South Africa is on MNET Open Time (that means everyone with a TV can watch it or choose not to) on Sundays from 6-7pm.