I think you've got to not always expect people to meet your own expectations. You've got to let go of always having expectations when it comes to other people. Anticipate, but don't expect. Expect is hard and unforgiving, and inflexible. Ancipation is softer, more open and positive. And also to not always judge things that don't happen (from the other person), but let them be themselves. If we love someone, we ought to love them the best way we can: by letting them be themselves. Otherwise, why would we love them or be attracted to them (unless from a selfish desire to merely be loved in the way that we wanted.)

It's a constant choice to let the person you love be who they want to be, or ask them to do/be what you want. That choice is important, because whatever you choose, you will tend to create the same choice in them.