Am I bullshitter? If I'm good at marketing, some would say good at selling, then I have to have some knack, at the end of the day, for producing and shipping massive quantities of bullshit. Since I've had some success in the field, I guess that means I am qualified in that department, but I'd like to think I'm an Undergraduate. I'd rather have an Undergraduate degree than a MIB (Masters in Bullshitting).
I got an email in response to my email (which took 5 seconds to write and send, so why not?)with regards to a copy-editor job. Apparently my expertise is not 100%.
Jim Carrey voicover: Alrighty then.
But in a more general sense, I wonder how I'd answer the question. Because actually I am sitting here, and my foot is inexplicably sore today (after only swimming yesterday, and barely breaking a sweat while running the day before). And the fact is I have talked about Ironman for 2-3 years now, and there are really no results. So I reckon, the evidence out there is out there. Maybe it's not overwhelming, but I think once I've finally done the Ironman, then we can say that officially, I'm the real deal, I'm not a bullshitter.
What are some of the things I say, but then I don't do?
Well, the Ironman is one. When am I going to get it done? March 20. What happens if this foot thing gets worse, will there be another postponement?
I say I'm a vegetarian, well, used to, and I do occasionally have a burger, and sometimes I eat meat, but a lot less than I once did.
I'm anti-Coke, but I always have Coke when I eat popcorn at the movies.
Time Laziness, or at the very least, Time Resistance. I say I'll meet so-an-so at so-and-so time and I either cancel or I'm late. I know how much it annoys me when people arrive late so I'd like not to return the favor.
Mr Philosophy. Yeah it's fine to know the golden goose stuff inside out, and to be proactive, and how to take time-out to choose a response when you get blindsided by a fart-in-your-face-kind've stimulus. How do I really react when the chips are down. Do I fall to pieces, do I do a circus act, complete with cartwheels and juggling temper tantrums. Or do I contain myself, and find a higher response?
Hmmmmm. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.
Consistency again. Bottomline: if I'm not consistent, I'm a bullshitter. Because if I'm doing the right thing only some of the time, then the rest of the time is just bullshitting myself that's its okay to sometimes get away with mediocre, okay to let things slip. That's classic bullshitting right there.
Today I taught Habit No: 4, which is Think Win/Win.
The next habit, No: 5 is Seek to Understand, and then to be Understood. By way of an illustration, I printed an article I sourced on Yahoo, on the NFL player turned army Ranger, a guy called Tillman, who gave up a $3.6 mliion contract to serve his country in Afghanistan. He was shot in April by mistake, by members of his own platoon. Why? The platoon split into two segments, and then one segment changed its plans (due to poor road conditions), made a u-turn and couldn't communicate the message to the other segment, because the canyon walls prevented radio communication.
As a result, when guerrilas in the area opened fire, neither segment was clear on where the other was, despite a lot of signalling (including a smoke grenade), waving, screaming and even one of their own men trying to tell them that he could see a US vehicle down below.
In the end it was Tillman who threw the smoke grenade, and instead of understanding that the grenade, belching smoke, was some kind of message, the other segment just emptied all their rounds into the area below. The moral of the story: Understand what is happening. Listen (seek), and you shall see (find the answer).
I think to the extent that people ignore what others are saying, or to the extent that people tell others what is happening (rigid one way communication), or to the extent that people are so afraid they don't actually take a moment to peer into a situation, to the extent that people don't listen, that's the extent to which they can be called a bullshitter. I'm not a bullshitter if I can call a situation exactly the way it is, or pretty damn close. A bullshitter calls a situation something totally disparate reality.
Which brings us to Santa. There's no doubt that he listens to the children, that he cares. He comes into the room with a Ho, Ho, Ho. But he's got to be the biggest bullshitter out there. Who else can claim to owing their entire (fake) existence to bullshitting small children? Maybe a few terrible teachers, but Santa, takes the Christmas Cake.
So hey, if you're a bullshitter, don't feel bad. There's far worse out there. Right?
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/04/23/
terror/main613370.shtml
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