There is not one world but two. There is the world you know (or think you know), and then there is the world beyond.
I've been jumping into both a lot lately. Over the past few days - for reasons I'm holding close to my chest for the time being - I went through my records of all the articles I've published. On the one hand, I've achieved something. On the other, I've really discovered that I get very really satisfaction out of the whole process. Don't get me wrong - I enjoy writing, and photography. I just don't like the part where it starts to be given away. Lots of emails, lots of schlep, lots of editors too busy to think, and when the product is finished I am invariably disappointed. I'm not sure if any of my articles have appeared and I have gone:"Wow, look at what they did with this." I'm an artistic person and I feel I know how to design a page tastefully, and also which pictures are the most powerful. I often wonder: "Ya think this editor is trying to make me look bad?"
So I have started to contemplate all sorts of changes. From moving to Dubai, to Australia, to a change industry (television or movies). Two projects that I am particularly passionate about are:
1) Writing a script for THE HALF FULL MOON (ahead of the 2010...?) The manuscript is already done.
2) Going on a lecture circuit and spreading the word on Peak Oil. Now might be a good time since panic is setting in and most people still don't have a clue what is happening.
The point of the above isn't to say ostentatiously - look at me, I'm doing this or that. It's to press the point home that change is not an option. That change, a vast wave of it, is headed our way and will be foisted upon us. Look, even I don't know when or how soon our typical projects are going to obsolete and we'll all be shipped off to greenhouses and farms to save the human race from starving to death. I have a feeling story telling will always be important. I believe movies are so popular now because people can't stand the real world, they can't countenance spending too much time dealing with the same gloomy prospects. Are there any movies that address this? That say - escape to the real world and do something about it (maybe in a fun or rivetting way)?
Today I drove down to a part of South Africa where coal is turned into liquid and gas. The liquid is used for petrol. We get perhaps 40% of our fuel needs from this. You may say that's great, but cycling past, the machines hiss, fires belch out of there and there is a bizarre smell. Like bubble gum and mercury. You start to feel your brain start to stew.
I went to take a few photos of one of Sasol's steam plants and was chased away by a guard. I am not saying these refiners or energy companies are the bad guys. Far from it. All they do is their best to generate the sort of supply that the market wants. The problem is us. Right now all sorts of clever new cars are being rolled out. People think if they run on electricity or get 200mpg that the problem is solved. My friends, if you have a normal petrol burning car and you drive from A to B, and you have the world's most amazing super dooper magical car, and you go from A to B, the problem is still that our travelling arrangements haven't changed, and whether you're getting from A to B using petroleum or adding one more link in the chain (coal-powered fossil fuels make electricity for your supposedly clean electric car) it's still the same basic energy equation.
Once again, let me refer to what I was saying on top about going to live somewhere else (in the world) and changing my job. This is the change I'm talking about that we need to make. Fundamental change. Gas guzzler to electricity guzzler might seem like a fundamental change but we're really kidding ourselves.
A very violent movie that I really enjoyed - very cathartic - was Street Kings. It's available now. It stars a solid and somewhat bruised looking Keanu Reeves. There's a very racist remark in the film which also - I think - hits the bulls eye in terms of the problems society's individuals are facing in large numbers:
Thug Kim: Konnichiwa is Japanese. It's insultin' to Koreans.
Tom Ludlow: How am I supposed to tell if you can't?
Thug Kim: Fuck's that supposed to mean, white boy?
Tom Ludlow: It means you got eyes like apostrophes, you dress white, talk black, and drive Jew. So how am I supposed to know what kind of zipperhead dog-munching dink you are if you don't?
Boss Kim: Yo. D'you know who the fuck we are?
Tom Ludlow: Yeah. You're a couple panheads buyin' a machine gun out of a trunk.
The point of the above dialogue is to illustrate this: we don't know who we are. We're confused. We don't know what we want or what we should have. We're chasing our own tails. We really do operate - consuming, working long, long hours, chasing our tails (did I already say that)- as though we had huge amounts of time in our lives, that we aren't going to die some day.
We live in a fast paced world and so we think it's okay to say things and not mean them, or mean them at the time and then leave them around like odd socks on the floor, waiting for someone to pick them up again or something. It's not okay. Everything we do is so important. The key you give to a gardener may be the key that opens your door to a brutal attack. An incidental remark can change your life forever. D'you know who the fuck you are?
Better find out soon, because the world is a-changing and rearranging,and there are going to be a whole bunch of boats that are going to sink. Your ability to stay afloat will depend not only on you knowing who you are, but also knowing the world for what it is - which is much the same thing. And the key to starting that process is accountability. To yourself, to others, to the unseen universe, to animals. To being trustworthy. And loyal. Everything that is broken in the world, it seems to me, starts at the worthy part of trustworthy.
In marriage, in a job, in any face to face encounter we like to convey our trustworthiness. I am a good person. There is the world you know, the world you show, and the world beyond. Where are you?
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