Sex in schools

Who’s guilty?

The recent report (see reporter.co.za’s Community Service article) on sex in school paints a damning picture of incompetent teachers preying on helpless learners. While I am sure in many cases it is true, I think a more balanced view is closer to the actual state of affairs.

I am teaching at a High School in the Free State and I have already had a student hand me a card (in the format of a business card) with her name, address, telephone number and the words ‘Escort Agency’ on it. A prank? Perhaps.

Earlier in the week I asked a group of students for help, to do filing. I even offered to pay them R5 (it’s a lot of filing). The next day three girls pitched up, all dressed to kill, and bouncing around more than schoolgirls ought to. Later this week, when I asked for help again, and the same thing happened. It could be the latest fashion, but then again, a classroom is a classroom, not a ramp for modeling, also not a restaurant for a romantic and glamorous tete a tete. Certainly not worth dressing up for. So what’s going on?

5 minutes ago I asked a matric boy whether one of the girls he was talking to was his girlfriend, and he answered both. “You have two girlfriends at the same time?” I asked, stepping nicely into a verbal trap. Now the girls started questioning me whether I ( a teacher at the school) had ever done that, or would I etc. They were very familiar and obviously trying to maneuver me towards committing myself to some sort of yay or nay attitude, in terms of being interested or not in some sexual scenario. Nay, I said, I have a girlfriend. But, the boy persisted, do you want to marry her? Is that code for: are you available for some kind of extra mural activity?

I do have to wonder about young, single male teachers (female too, but not being female I wouldn’t really know), who are single and far from home. It’s expecting a lot from them to maintain angelic standards year upon year. Having taught in Korea I know of more than one western teacher who started dating one of his students. It happens, I’m not saying it doesn’t. I’m also not saying that we shouldn’t expect the highest standards from teachers. What I am saying is that we are very quick to launch witch hunts against teachers, point fingers and accuse, but if a young learner is actually soliciting attention, we sort of brush it off, ignore it. That’s a serious transgression too, if we’re trying to stamp out sexual predation in schools.

It seems to me – where I am – a situation where learners run amuck, where they may bait (or at least tempt) the teacher, and if the teacher responds, the teacher is in trouble. Schoolds should have a policy of discouraging girls from wearing clothes that are too revealing (and our school does). Yes, teachers ought to know better, but flirtatious and salacious behavior (including what is said or suggested) by learners (to teachers) ought also to be corrected with a firm approach. Given that corporal punishment is no longer de rigueur in schools, how does one make sure learners remain disciplined in terms of flaunting their sexuality? How are these young teenagers brought under some kind of control? I’ve seen young girls coming into class with FHM magazines. The media (especially soaps, and ads, movies and magazines) serves as a powerful stimulus to keep these young people burning. With so much stimuli out there, how does one cool the engine down? It’s a challenge not only in schools, but in society too (see Is Society Oversexed article elsewhere in reporter.co.za).

Cooling the sexual engine of society down: that’s the challenge.

My point is that where there is smoke, there is fire, and the learners are in many instances fanning flames. Is it their fault? No. Is it, after all, only up to teachers to extinguish them?