The Caloric benefits of Sex

Now, for the first time in the Western World, here are the true caloric benefits of sex.

Removing her clothes
With consent 12 Calories
Without consent 187 Calories
Opening her bra
With both hands 8 Calories
With one hand 12 Calories
With your teeth 85 Calories
Putting on a condom
With an erection 6 Calories
Without an erection 315 Calories
Preliminaries
Trying to find the clitoris 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot 92 Calories
Positions
Missionary 12 Calories
69 lying down 78 Calories
69 standing up 112 Calories
Wheelbarrow 216 Calories
Doggy Style 326 Calories
Italian Chandelier 912 Calories
Orgasm
Real 112 Calories
False 315 Calories
Post Orgasm
Lying in bed hugging 18 Calories
Getting up immediately 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately 816 Calories
Getting a second erection
If you are: 20-29 years old 36 Calories
30-39 years 80 Calories
40-49 years 124 Calories
50-59 years 972 Calories
60-69 years 2916 Calories
70 and over Death
Dressing afterwards
Calmly 32 Calories
In a hurry 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door 1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door 3521 Calories