Zaps Zodwa from Eskom says Eskom will forego 1% of the tariff hike in exchange for newborn babies [HAYIBO]

Meanwhile Eskom has admitted that the global financial crisis has forced it to generate electricity by rubbing two cats on a carpet.

"Yes, they're called Tiddles and Wendy," said Zodwa. "They're lovely cats, if partially bald on the side where we rub them on the Megawatt Carpet."

SHOOT: In further news, Virgin Active has closed a multibillion rand deal with Eskom, having agreed to link their exercise bikes to the grid. Virgin Spokeman, Guy Ponzi, says he expects to power 47% of the South Africa by 2010 using this scheme. Investors can contact him at 086 PONZI SUCKER. Investors are advised that earnings should reach 200% at a minimum.

clipped from www.hayibo.com PRETORIA. South African power company Eskom says it is willing to lower its proposed tariff hike from 34 percent to 33 percent, but says in return for the compromise it wants the country's first-born children. Meanwhile it has admitted that budget cuts have forced it to use "new but slightly less effective" generating technologies, such as rubbing two cats on a carpet. Economists have warned that a 34 percent increase in the price of electricity could force millions of South Africans to resort to desperate survival tactics, such as selling the televisions in the bedroom and toilet, switching off the pool filter pump in winter, and resetting the lawn lasers from 'kill' to 'singe'. However, Eskom says it has heard the pleas of South Africans over the clink and rustle of its money being counted into huge piles, and is willing to compromise. "We cannot go lower than 33 percent," explained spokesman Zaps Zodwa