CAPE TOWN. The Cape Town coastal suburb of Fish Hoek has been declared officially free of swine fever, but most South Africans say they would rather contract the disease and hemorrhage out of their orifices than live in Fish Hoek. Meanwhile SADC ministers are meeting to discuss whether Africa's response to the disease should be tardy, inept, or non-existent.
"South Africans should consider Fish Hoek their port in a viral storm," explained Dr Frottage Croissant. "You will be safe in Fish Hoek. Depressed, yes, and perhaps murderously bored, but safe."
He said residents were very excited about the imminent arrival of the 1970s, due to hit Fish Hoek some time next year, which would bring such benefits as colour television and contraceptives.
He added that the town's teen suicide rate was also very low, mainly because there were no trees tall enough to hang from.
"We're seeing a lot of injuries, usually from playing keyboards or tambourines in unregulated orgies of worship," she said.
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