One of the dumbest (and obviously wrong) Dark Knight Analysis You'll Ever Read

Battle of the Titans

This month, two superheroes -- longtime stalwart Batman and newcomer Hancock -- square off at the box office. Who will prevail? The numbers tell the story. By John Ross

Hancock vs Batman

$2.2 billion Lifetime gross of all films starring Will Smith, who is Hancock in Hancock, a movie about a superhero who drinks too much and cares too little about the collateral damage he causes when he “saves” people in Southern California. -$40 million Amount that Collateral Damage made at the domestic box office. The film did not star Will Smith, but it did star Arnold Schwarzenegger, who, as governor of California, would have to clean up any collateral damage caused by Hancock -- if Hancock were real, that is. Still, we’ll count it, but against Hancock. +$545 million Lifetime gross of all films starring Charlize Theron, who plays Hancock’s possible love interest. (It’s complicated because she’s married to Jason Bateman’s character, a PR guy helping Hancock reform his image and fight crime.) +$143 million Domestic box-office take of Juno, Jason Bateman’s last film in wide release. $2.85 billion

$609 million Lifetime gross of all films starring Christian Bale, who plays Batman/Bruce Wayne in The Dark Knight, the sequel to Batman Begins. -$395 million Lifetime gross of all films starring Katie Holmes, who played Bat love interest Rachel Dawes in Batman Begins. Holmes isn’t in The Dark Knight. Her part now belongs to Maggie Gyllenhaal. So that counts against the caped crusader. -$40 million Domestic box-office take of Maggie Gyllenhaal’s most recent film in wide release, Stranger than Fiction, which starred Will Ferrell in kind of a dramatic role. That does indeed sound stranger than fiction. We’re counting it as another strike against The Dark Knight. +$1.2 billion Lifetime gross of all films starring Michael Caine, who plays Alfred, the butler who helps Bruce Wayne form his image and helps Batman fight crime. $1.37 billion

Winner: Hancock, by a leap and a bound.

NVDL: Dark Knight will kick Hancock's butt into the day after tomorrow.