The Aussie and the Afrikaner [JOKE]

Afrikaner guy, an Aussie, a beautiful girl and an old woman are sitting in a train. The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.
Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap!
The train comes out of the tunnel.
The old woman, beautiful girl and the Afrikaner guy are sitting there looking perplexed. The Aussie is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap.
The old woman is thinking: "That Aussie must have tried to kiss that girl and got slapped."
The Aussie is thinking: "Damn it, that Afrikaner guy must have tried to kiss the beautiful girl. She thought it was me and slapped me instead."
The beautiful girl is thinking: "That Aussie must have moved to kiss me, but kissed the old lady instead and got slapped."
The Afrikaner guy is thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and moer that Aussie again!"

How To Greet An Englishman (JOKE)

England's practice was suspended yesterday - for 2 hours - when a white substance was discovered on the field. Scotland Yard was brought in to investigate. After some analysis they identified the 'white powder' as the try line. Play was allowed to resume on the basis that the team were unlikely to encounter this substance again, in the near future. [NVDL: Heard this on 94.7 this morning:-D]

Tickets To Finals Wanted from All Blacks' Supporters

The All Blacks lost their match against France from the word go, when the French - including Sebastian Chaval - stood ON the halfway line. You could sense that just from a spatial perspective, the All Blacks had nowhere to go, and were themselves intimidated, instead of the other way round.

Meanwhile, the long-awaited Wallaby-All Black encounter has taken place after all - at Charles de Gaulle airport.