Afrikaner guy, an Aussie, a beautiful girl and an old woman are sitting in a train. The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.
Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap!
The train comes out of the tunnel.
The old woman, beautiful girl and the Afrikaner guy are sitting there looking perplexed. The Aussie is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap.
The old woman is thinking: "That Aussie must have tried to kiss that girl and got slapped."
The Aussie is thinking: "Damn it, that Afrikaner guy must have tried to kiss the beautiful girl. She thought it was me and slapped me instead."
The beautiful girl is thinking: "That Aussie must have moved to kiss me, but kissed the old lady instead and got slapped."
The Afrikaner guy is thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and moer that Aussie again!"
Showing posts with label Aussies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Aussies. Show all posts
Monday, May 18, 2009
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Weather Warning: Limpopo and Mpumalanga
Hot and humid conditions leading to dangerously high levels of discomfort are expected in the lowveld areas of Limpopo and Mpumalanga.
Global warming hits Australia with fires and floods
CANBERRA (Reuters) - Australia endured bushfires, floods and record high temperatures in its drought-ravaged foodbowl in 2007 as global warming brought the nation's sixth hottest year on record, the weather bureau said on Thursday.
The crucial Murray-Darling river basin, home to 2 million people and almost half the country's fruit and cereal crop, had its hottest known year, the Bureau of Meteorology said in its 2007 Australian Climate Statement.
The mean maximum temperature of 28.6 Celsius (83.5 Fahrenheit) was almost a full degree above normal, bringing record average temperatures to the heavily populated southeast, the bureau said, pointing to climate change as the reason.
"The standout year is 2005, which was Australia's warmest year on record, but essentially all the warm years that we've had have been in recent years," climate analysis spokesman David Jones told local radio.
By Rob Taylor
More.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
RWC: French Stun NZ
New Zealand choke; Aussies also on their way home
Southern hemisphere teams and supporters suffered a collective jaw drop as they saw first Australia fold under pressure against England (losing 12-10), and then New Zealand lose their composure. Both sides played with uncharacteristic caution, allowing their opponents to take up the slack and generate their own momentum.
Many rugby supporters, myself included, saw both these matches as mere formalities for the the Southern Hemisphere teams, en route to the Semi’s.
While the Aussies performance reeked, the All Blacks played well, finishing their first half with a 13-0 lead, and a lead that looked unassailable at that point. The French tactic up until then was to boot the ball ineffectually around, giving away possession, and so losing the ability to develop any cogent form of attack.
2nd Fiddle
In the second half, everything changed. Kiwi magician Luke McAlister who had already scored a brilliant try in the first half, was sent to the sin bin early in the second half for a professional foul on the try line. Beauxis kicked the penalty, putting the first points on the board for France. At this point the score was 13-3.
The pendulum begun to shift as the French team surged. Playing with visible courage, they were suddenly committed and believing in themselves. The first French try came soon after ‘caveman’ Sébastien Chabal and Dimitri Szarzewski joined the field. Sustained pressure bore fruit, starting with flanker Thierry Dusautoir’s try. Meanwhile, more and more of the big names from the opposing squad limped off the field. The French fight back was hard and tough. Facing this resurgent French team, the Kiwi’s first faded, then choked.
In one encounter 5 All Blacks converged on the ball as it passed the try line, with two All Black players colliding into one another. Then, with around 10 minutes remaining, French wizard (on his day) Michalak – replacing Beauxis – broke away and squirmed around to hand over to Yannick Jauzion for their second try.
Disciplined Defence
It was a brave and brutal fight back by the Tricolores. The French defended with tremendous discipline, even to the last second of the game. The French scored all 20 of their points in the second half; New Zealand managed only 5 points (from a single unconverted try). Despite the big hearts of the French players, the margin was small in the final score: 20-18.
But New Zealand’s second half performance overall was as off color in the as their shirts.
Captain Richie McCaw was understandably at a loss for words after the game. He described the error of engaging in ‘ping-pong’ with the French, and straying from their own game plan. But even South African viewers were shocked at this double turnaround.
That the TriNations top two teams were stymied was not necessarily due to being beaten by better teams, but losing composure under pressure. Both sides were not really tested until these quarter final games, and vitally, when you’re behind in crucial knock out games and facing a deadline, self belief and composure becomes paramount.
Not Convincing
It’s also fair to say that the 2 point winning margin doesn’t demonstrate convincing victories from either England or France. All it demonstrates is the North’s will to win overcame their adversary’s fear of losing.
New Zealand especially are guilty of putting far too much pressure on themselves when facing defeat in World Cup games. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. When behind, does desperation lead to doubt, or belief?
These matches provide excellent counseling for the remaining Southern Hemisphere powerhouse, South Africa, who are now the favorites on paper. Having seen how giants can be slaughtered, do they have the composure in the face of terrible pressure and possible defeat?
After the bruising encounters on Saturday, it’s unlikely that France or England will be able to pick themselves up to face the Boks, who are looking superstrong. But stranger things have happened.
Southern hemisphere teams and supporters suffered a collective jaw drop as they saw first Australia fold under pressure against England (losing 12-10), and then New Zealand lose their composure. Both sides played with uncharacteristic caution, allowing their opponents to take up the slack and generate their own momentum.
Many rugby supporters, myself included, saw both these matches as mere formalities for the the Southern Hemisphere teams, en route to the Semi’s.
While the Aussies performance reeked, the All Blacks played well, finishing their first half with a 13-0 lead, and a lead that looked unassailable at that point. The French tactic up until then was to boot the ball ineffectually around, giving away possession, and so losing the ability to develop any cogent form of attack.
2nd Fiddle
In the second half, everything changed. Kiwi magician Luke McAlister who had already scored a brilliant try in the first half, was sent to the sin bin early in the second half for a professional foul on the try line. Beauxis kicked the penalty, putting the first points on the board for France. At this point the score was 13-3.
The pendulum begun to shift as the French team surged. Playing with visible courage, they were suddenly committed and believing in themselves. The first French try came soon after ‘caveman’ Sébastien Chabal and Dimitri Szarzewski joined the field. Sustained pressure bore fruit, starting with flanker Thierry Dusautoir’s try. Meanwhile, more and more of the big names from the opposing squad limped off the field. The French fight back was hard and tough. Facing this resurgent French team, the Kiwi’s first faded, then choked.
In one encounter 5 All Blacks converged on the ball as it passed the try line, with two All Black players colliding into one another. Then, with around 10 minutes remaining, French wizard (on his day) Michalak – replacing Beauxis – broke away and squirmed around to hand over to Yannick Jauzion for their second try.
Disciplined Defence
It was a brave and brutal fight back by the Tricolores. The French defended with tremendous discipline, even to the last second of the game. The French scored all 20 of their points in the second half; New Zealand managed only 5 points (from a single unconverted try). Despite the big hearts of the French players, the margin was small in the final score: 20-18.
But New Zealand’s second half performance overall was as off color in the as their shirts.
Captain Richie McCaw was understandably at a loss for words after the game. He described the error of engaging in ‘ping-pong’ with the French, and straying from their own game plan. But even South African viewers were shocked at this double turnaround.
That the TriNations top two teams were stymied was not necessarily due to being beaten by better teams, but losing composure under pressure. Both sides were not really tested until these quarter final games, and vitally, when you’re behind in crucial knock out games and facing a deadline, self belief and composure becomes paramount.
Not Convincing
It’s also fair to say that the 2 point winning margin doesn’t demonstrate convincing victories from either England or France. All it demonstrates is the North’s will to win overcame their adversary’s fear of losing.
New Zealand especially are guilty of putting far too much pressure on themselves when facing defeat in World Cup games. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. When behind, does desperation lead to doubt, or belief?
These matches provide excellent counseling for the remaining Southern Hemisphere powerhouse, South Africa, who are now the favorites on paper. Having seen how giants can be slaughtered, do they have the composure in the face of terrible pressure and possible defeat?
After the bruising encounters on Saturday, it’s unlikely that France or England will be able to pick themselves up to face the Boks, who are looking superstrong. But stranger things have happened.
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