- You call a bathing suit a 'swimming costume'.
- You call a traffic light a 'robot'.
- You call an elevator a 'lift'.
- You call a hood a 'bonnet'.
- You call a trunk a 'boot'.
- You call a pickup truck a 'bakkie'.
- You call a barbeque a 'braai'.
- The employees dance in front of the building to show how unhappy they are.
- The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the programme you just finished watching.
- You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is 'Arctic weather'.
- You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you've never had any.
- You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them.
- You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela.
- You go to braais regularly, where you eat boerewors and swim,
sometimes simultaneously.
- You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's license when stopped by a traffic officer.
- You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement.
- You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car.
- Still, you're genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked where you left it.
- When you are a victim of crime and say: 'At least I'm still alive'.
- You know a taxi can move twice its certified number of people in one trip.
- You travel 100's of kilometers just to see a snow fall.
- You know the rules of Rugby better than any referee.
- To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750.
- More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election.
- Our people have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty, Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Precious, Innocence, Given,
Patience, Portion, and Coronation.
- 'Now now' or 'just now' can mean anything from a minute to a month.
- You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction.
- Travelling at 120 km/h you're the slowest vehicle on the highway/freeway.
- A bullet train is being introduced, but we can't fix potholes.
- The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday.
- You paint your car's registration number on its roof.
- You paint your street number on your house's roof.
- You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a government hospital.
- You have to prove that you don't need a loan to get one.
- Prisoners go on strike.
- You don't stop at a red robot, in case somebody hijacks your car.
- (as advised by the police, no less).
- You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once.
- Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high.
- You actually understand these jokes
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