Things aren’t always what they seem
This weekend I went on a trip in an impressive Volvo V8 (the oil price has gone up a notch after that, entirely due to my long distance driving this weekend). We suffered 3 punctures, simply because impressive low profile tyres are not designed to go off-road. So you have this lumbering giant of a vehicle with all the perks, except it can’t get anywhere because the wheels can’t handle a few stones and dirt. (But it’s a 4x4?).
Near Colesberg we were pulled over, caught speeding at 137km/h. Errr…we were overtaking another vehicle, a truck, with another truck bearing down us. Do we draw alongside at 120km/h and keep to the speed limit no matter what? Well, I put this to the cops and they seemed to think you can overtake without breaking the speed limit. Interestingly, near Willowmore, in pouring rain, I set the Volvo to exactly 120km/h (using Cruise control) and a police cruiser past me going about 130km/h (even after passing).
Economic reality isn’t what it seems. How people get shocked, or lose their homes and vehicles is evidence that people seldom deal with the truth. Don't people know how much money they have; how much they are spending, how little they are saving? Not only do people not know, neither do governments. They deal with what they want and then fail to see the difference between what is true and what we wish were true.
I am reminded of this as a settle down to lunch by myself in a cold courtyard. A few tables away two gentlemen are talking about the Olympics, particularly the swimming. My ears prick up because I have recently read a story on the same thing. One of the men says that [Roland] Schoeman is an idiot for blaming lack of funds on the SA swimmer’s ‘poor performance’. He backs up this statement by saying these swimmers gets massages, everything they want.
Now to a passer by, this might seem logical. I am no Olympic swimmer, myself, but I can count on one hand how many weeks have passed since I’ve trained in a pool. The two gentlemen swapping wisdom looked in their 50’s, and one of them looked like he might cause strain to elevators. Put it this way, if jumped into a pool, a lot of water would jump out.
When it comes to swimming, or any sport, in order to reach that incremental place of excellence, you need 100% focus. 0.42 seconds separated the top 7 places in the 50m sprint. It is no exaggeration to state that the bickering that went on before the relay event, and the bickering about swim suits place a strain not so much on the athlete’s energy levels, but on their motivation. Few people outside sport appreciate the importance of motivation. If you are out there training, meticulously, whilst some official is grandly deciding about a swimsuit issue (but really has no idea what the impact of using them or not is) the amount of stress on a swimmer can be enormous.
Furthermore, hearing through the grapevine that some sport minister is unhappy about the rainbow nature of the swimming team, imagine what that does to the idea of focusing on a race. If you pay any attention to this sort of debate, it renders what you are doing (in terms of the enormous efforts put on the table) meaningless.
So I’m sorry, two old guys saying Schoeman is an idiot because he gets everything he wants actually know squat all about what they are talking about. Schoeman actually struggled to attend galas not so long ago because he couldn’t afford to fly there and back. Imagine how not being sure you can attend a race – how that impacts on preparation. As a poor student trying to do the very expensive triathlon thing, I know exactly how excruciating it is to do the training, and then have external people and processes fuck up your ability to turn up and do the race. Because you don’t have enough money. And why do the guys in SA not have enough money? Because there are no sponsors. Sponsors give the guys bugger all (unless you’re an athlete who can do some modeling).
The fact that Roland – a multiple individual world record holder – has struggled to get money for so many years, while Ryk has had things a lot easier says a lot about the fickle nature of the crowd. If SA cares about performance, really cares, they should put business behind the best in the business. As it is, the Americans get huge endorsements, and the investment pays off.
Things are not always what we seem, but we fail to ask ourselves: could I be mistaken on this idea/opinion/assessment.
In Jeffrey's Bay I approached the spot where I'd taken one of my best photographs ('Foam'). It is now hanging in the bedroom of a house in Houghton. I was trying for some time to take the same sort of picture again, and then left the scene, muttering to myself: "Why would you go back to a place and take the same sort of photo? You've already produced a stunning shot there; so why go back and do it again?" This seemed a rhetorical question, except when I looked at the larger allegory involved. Why do we go back? Because I think all of us frequently revisit those quadrants of our existence that for one reason or another have become unresolved (even though we may have resolved these times once upon a time, and then it all fell into forgetfulness). This is how we have a crisis of faith,identity, we become depressed. Because, in essence, we forget who we are, and what we are doing.
As such, if we know ourselves, and to know ourselves, we sometimes need to revisit a place, a thought, a person, and idea, in order not necessarily to know that thing better (which isn't a bad start) but also to know ourselves and how, relative to that thing, we (and our circumstances) have changed. Also, that thing may have changed, and we might have stagnated. And so while my initial disgust at revisiting the beach seemed justified, it wasn't. Because I see I have also changed, I am also not as I seemed (even from the beaches' perspective). I have returned to the beach in entirely different circumstances, and yet, some that are similar.
And truth be told, the beach itself was different. Beautiful, purer and softer and more fragile in its own way. The difference between the two photographs is in the light. One is dark, black and white. The latest pictures are softer, lighter and it has to be said happier and more hopeful. I am not sure if there is more beauty in light or darkness - it might seem an odd thing to say, but it is true. There is beauty in both. And hence, there is a point to returning to a place where we have been (even a previous relationship) if only to gauge the change in us, and in us relative to the other person. It's an important exercise if you value meaning, and the subtleties that are so close but sometimes beyond our ordinary reasoning. Because things may seem to us a certain way, until we test them,and that requires placing ourselves not theoretically into a set of circumstances, but actually, and then we need to feel the reality with every sense of our beings.
What do I feel?
Reality is harder, and perhaps, a worthy opponent to hide from. But thast also says something about how worthy we consider ourselves, and the extent to which we intend for ourselves to be part of objective reality, rather than a fantasy in a fantasy. So it is to the extewnt that we can see two beaches (or more) that we begin to know the beach for what it is, and who we are and where we fit into the changing of the tides, sands and waters of the world.
More: My First Exhibition of Photography
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