Early Bird

Got up early this morning, and went swimming.
1.5km in 45 minutes. Had to get used to the lanes being a bit busier than I;ve been used to in South Africa. My goggles strap broke about 5 times, eventually it was just knots, and eventually couldn't swim with them. Must try to get a new strap, but after 2 enquiries, no luck.
Weight: 78.65kg.

Coming soon...

In the landrover on the way back from Jeffrey's Bay, to Bloemfontein, way back in January.

This was something new I tried for the Ironman. If I passed a watering point on the bike, I picked up the bottle and poured it in here, and drank out of this whenever I felt thirsty. I thought it was pretty effective.

This was in a triathlon last year, in around June. I think I'll be in better shape this year than I as last year. I'm in red, in front of a New Zealander in blue.

This is what the neighborhood looks like. I'm staying in the building on right, across the road, at the moment.

Oh No

You can bet C3PO is going to say "Oh no", quite a few times in the next installment of Star Wars. Some writers have already dubbed it: Stars Wars goes to hell. Some footage is shot on a volcanic (lake of fire) planet.

Today I went to the bank, braving miserable and windy weather, but at least not as cold as it's been.
I transferred some money to a South African account (the rate is looking really good from here). The process takes a few days, so I hope the currency will not suddenly swing.

Then I met Rowan in front of KFC and went for a very chatty jog. My right foot felt a bit tender, possibly because I was running with one arm half clutching at my passport and bank cards. It was drizzling, but not too bad. Ran about 38 minutes, (average Heart Rate 146, yesterday was 131) a lap and a bit. He said it was -13 degrees Celcius when he did the Seoul Marathon this year, so I guess I am glad I missed that.

When I arrived home the phone rang. It was Michael. I'm scheduled to go to an interview at Hwajeong at 7:30pm tomorrow. Rowan has offered me the chance to cover his job for two months, but only starting at the end of next month. That's a bit late. Am quite positive and open about this position Michael has mentioned. Fingers crossed, C3, and repeat these affirmations: "Oh yes. Yes yes yes."

Don't Panic

On May 19th Star Wars, Revenge of Sith will flash across silver screens worldwide, ending the 6 part saga. I have played trailers, and I find it sensible and impressive. Hayden looks imposing and powerful. He seems to have grown larger than life in the last few years. I think Lucas pulled out all the stops (he probably felt he had to) after losing a lot of ground to cutting edge fare like The Matrix and Lord of the Rings. Of course, this last movie is all about war, and an all out war is the perfect canvas to showcase the Sci Fi effects genre that started a genre.


Don't Panic if Star Wars is not your thing. The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy is coming soon too.
And if fantasy, even funny fantasy isn't your thing, try The Amityville Horror. Nevermind that this legend of evil voices, compelling though it might be,isn't true (See www.amityvillemurders.com: The Night the DeFeos Died will offer evidence to support the claim that the supernatural stories were created as part of Ronald DeFeo, Jr.'s defense and were a hoax. ), some of it is based on fact, and the facts are more gruesome than the fiction that sprang from it.

Another movie to watch out for is Ridley Scott's (of Alien and Gladiator fame)Kingdom of Heaven, starring Legolas (Orlando Bloom) as a crusader. Scott's forte is recreating Roman life, this time in the Middle East.

As for me, I'm going to get ready for The Revenge of the Sith. I'm interested to see how and when James Earl Jones' voice comes into play again. I already have a feeling that this antithesis of the Jedi, was also the saviour, because, as we all (should) know, it was Vader who finally disposed of the Emperor, lifting him in the air and casting him into the depths of a dark tunnel (something like throwing someone down a well) despite his commitments to the Dark Side. Seems he couldn't follow orders on either side. He has a problem with authority... Who can't identify with that?

What's Out There?

Ran about 5km today, in exactly 30 minutes. Took it very easy. Huge amounts of people in the park, including one classic case of a little boy who stopped in his tracks and screamed: 'WEH GOH GHIN (foreigner), HELLO'.
Did this run just before sunset. It seems to be getting warmer. Would like to run more often now, and very gradually expand the distance.

Rodeo City

I am staying in this building at the moment. It is only a few minutes walk from the park, and is right beside LaFesta Mall.

Kaput

Losing consciousness in Starbucks, after a big meal in Spaghettia.

I was reading a book about Diet and Health that I borrowed from Brian and Maike. There are some sobering suggestions why coffee is best avoided. Birth defects and a huge amount of side-effects have been linked to caffeine, one of them being insomnia.

I don't often drink coffee anyway, but I do like to relax in an easy chair at Starbucks and read or something. It does have its uses though, as a pick me upper when you really can't get up in the morning. Like all things, I think moderation is the key.

Above is a picture of the plane-like shape of the V1 bomb that buzzed over England starting a week after D-Day and destroying over a million buildings in an hour after hour, 80 day siege.

Conscious Approaches Towards A Healthy Life

I am still moved by this subject, so I am posting more information on it.

The internet is a resource for huge amounts of information, including photos, and historical text, including quotes, speeches and timelines.
My curiosity into World War 2 was aroused after watching, and being being interested in the details, of a movie called CONSPIRACY.

I don't believe I have a ghoulish absorption, and I am not attempting to find the most negative, dark, terrors that I can. I am encouraged that we have at our disposal, the means to understand how massive mechanisms for disaster get put into motion, and what drives and motivates individuals to co-operate. If we understand these areas, we can find ways to anticipate them happening again, and ward off any chances of history repeating itself. If we maintain our knowledge as the conventional wisdom, we risk, I feel, a lot. Conventional wisdom is not often, I feel, very wise.
I have also had my own knowledge broadened to a large extent, and I find this good, not emotionally, but consciously. Enlightening.

I did not know, for example, that a week after D-Day, Hitler launched his V-1 rockets against England, every hour, day and night, for 80 days. These rockets had the appearance of gliders, and buzzed until shortly before impact. 57% of these rockets hit their targets. The remainder were intercepted or shot down. The V-2 rockets that were developed could not be developed, as they flew at supersonic speeds. This is interesting, and sobering.

The woman who made a movie of the Berlin Olympics - that is another interesting story. So too is the fact that Jesse Owens said he waved to Hitler, who was in a box, in the stands, and he said, Hitler waved back. But Hitler did not present him, or any other Black American with a medal. Berlin pretended to be civilised for the duration of the games, and once the foreigners left, and it was no longer to promote a veneer of respectability, all the apartheid laws pertaining to the Jews returned.

The most evil aspect of the Holocaust, of the 2nd World War, is personified by Dr. Josef Mengele, who performed experiments at Auschwitz. He is repeatedly described as a charming, affable, perfectly groomed and handsome man, who offered chocolates and charm to children before injecting them in their eyes (attempting to change eye color), chloroform in their hearts, and one of the worst experiments seems to have been trying to create a siamese twin by connecting two twins vital organs and tissues. These twins were said to have screamed for hours on end, and died 3 days later of gangrene, having suffered excruciating pain. Anaesthetics were not used. And all manner of experiments devised in the name of furthering German medical science. Mengele was never caught. He escaped to Argentina and died from Natural causes - a stroke while swimming, many years after the war ended.

The story below illustrates something that is hard to bare in mind, when coming to terms with great human tragedy. That is the glimmer of hope, the fragile life that wants to live, the individual reality of a flame that struggles, flickering in the wind. It is, I feel, important to know, and remember, so that we appreciate our lives, and love those around us, knowing that others struggled for life.

Miraculously, Nyiszli survived to give an horrifying and sobering account, one of the first books to bring the full horror of the Nazi death camps to the public - Auschwitz: A Doctor's Eyewitness Account. You find this account pp. 114-120:

"In number one's crematorium's gas chamber 3,000 dead bodies were piled up. The Sonderkommando had already begun to untangle the lattice of flesh. The noise of the elevators and the sound of their clanging doors reached my room. The work moved ahead double-time. The gas chambers had to be cleared, for the arrival of a new convoy had been announced.

The chief of the gas chamber kommando almost tore the hinges off the door to my room as he arrived out of breath, his eyes wide with fear or surprise.

"Doctor," he said, "come quickly. We just found a girl alive at the bottom of a pile of corpses."

I grabbed my instrument case, which was always ready, and dashed to the gas chamber. Against the wall, near the entrance to the immense room, half covered with other bodies, I saw a girl in the throes of a death rattle, her body seized with convulsions. The gas kommando men around me were in a state of panic. Nothing like this had ever happened in the course of their horrible career.

We moved the still-living body from the corpses pressing against it. I gathered the tiny adolescent body into my arms and carried it back to the room adjoining the gas chamber, where normally the gas kommando men change clothes for work. I laid the body on a bench. A frail young girl, almost a child, she could have been no more than fifteen. I took out my syringe and, taking her arm - she had not yet recovered consciousness and was breathing with difficulty - I administered three intravenous injections.

My companions covered her body which was as cold as ice with a heavy overcoat. One ran to the kitchen to fetch some tea and warm broth. Everybody wanted to help as if she were his own child. The reaction was swift. The child was seized by a fit of coughing which brought up a thick globule of phlegm from her lungs. She opened her eyes and looked fixedly at the ceiling. I kept a close watch for every sign of life. Her breathing became deeper and more and more regular. Her lungs, tortured by the gas, inhaled the fresh air avidly. Her pulse became perceptible, the result of the injections.

I waited impatiently. I saw that within a few minutes she was going to regain consciousness: her circulation began to bring color back into her cheeks, and her delicate face became human again .. I made a sign for my companions to withdraw. I was going to attempt something I knew without saying was doomed to failure.

From our numerous contacts, I had been able to ascertain that Mussfeld had a high esteem for the medical expert's professional qualities. He knew that my superior was Dr. Mengele, the KZ's most dreaded figure, who, goaded by racial pride, took himself to be one of the most important representatives of German medical science. He considered the dispatch of hundreds of thousands of Jews to the gas chambers as a patriotic duty. The work carried out in the dissecting room was for the furtherance of German medical science ...

And this was the man I had to deal with, the man I had to talk into allowing a single life to be spared. I calmly related the terrible case we found ourselves confronted with. I described for his benefit what pains the child must have suffered in the undressing room, and the horrible scenes that preceded death in the gas chamber. When the room had been plunged into darkness, she had breathed in a few lungfuls of cyclon gas. Only a few, though, for her fragile body had given way under the pushing and shoving of the mass as they fought against death. By chance she had fallen with her face against the wet concrete floor. That bit of humidity had kept her from being asphyxiated, for cyclon gas does not react under humid conditions.

These were my arguments, and I asked him to do something for the child. He listened to me attentively then asked me exactly what I proposed doing. I saw by his expression that I had put him face to face with a practically impossible problem.

It was obvious that the child could not remain in the crematorium. One solution would have been to put her in front of the crematorium gate. A kommando of women always worked there. She could have slipped back to the camp barracks after they had finished work. She would never relate what had happened to her. The presence of one new face among so many thousands would never be detected, for no one in the camp knew all the other inmates. If she had been three or four years older that might have worked. A girl of twenty would have been able to understand clearly the miraculous circumstances of her survival, and have enough foresight not to tell anyone about them. She would wait for better times, like so many other thousands were waiting, to recount what she had lived through.

But Mussfeld thought that a young girl of sixteen would in all nai 'vete' tell the first person she had met where she had just come from, what she had seen and what she had lived through. The news would spread like wildfire, and we would all be forced to pay for it with our lives. "There's no way of getting round it," he said, "the child will have to die." Half an hour later the young girl was led, or rather carried, into the furnace room hallway, and there Mussfeld sent another in his place to do the job. A bullet in the back of the neck."

I had breakfast, and while I was eating I wondered what the significance of this knowledge brings. It is a personal choice, but I feel that these cruelties, this industrialisation of death may have been curtailed, but it has not ended. This is what we do to our animals, our chickens, pigs and cattle. We eat them after a long, arduous period of torture. We eat their pain and suffering, and so, bring sickness and suffering into our own bodies. Maybe we may not choose to be vegetarian, but maybe we can choose to merely reduce the amount of meat we consume.
This seems to be a sensible, reasonable response. Hopefully it can become a habit and a lifestyle.

It seems to me that consciousness comes with response-ability. It is important, I feel, to be aware, as fully aware, of our human condition, and our place, our portrayal of it, and our continued participation, in an honest and an affirming a way as we can find. There seems to me to be plenty that preys on life, that our worst enemies can be our own self destructiveness. This means we must be disciplined and decisive, clear minded and energetic in keeping our bodies and minds fit for life and health.

What's Wrong With This Picture?

I recently received an email with an attached picture of a boy with a badly deformed body, suffering from a rare disease called elephantisis or something. The email suggests that every person who sends this will increase the funding situation for the child.
It's important to be compassionate, and a child with a deformity is sad, but it is also important to use one's faculties in the face of emotion. To have discerning, critical thinking. It worries me, when I see the extent to which things like this circulate, that people, intelligent people many of them, lack discernment.
I also wonder why people invent these hoaxes in the first place. Is it an experiment to see how much they can manipulate the internet? It's bizarre, but it provides an interesting departure point.

In the above example lies an interesting seed for a further debate. I went onto a website that focuses on dictators, and today I read about Hitler. I was interested in this old story because last night I watched a movie called CONSPIRACY, which is about how the Germans decided on a methodology, how they came up with The Final Solution. There are a lot of movies and documentaries on Discovery, and I wonder who writes and produces them. I wonder what nationality they are? Who, for example, directed and produced CONSPIRACY? It is a well made movie, but it is also meant to be an indictment, of anti-semitism, and indirectly of the Germans and unsupportive attitudes (towards Jews).
Having read about Hitler, it is interesting to note that his life began with the death of four of his siblings. He is also rumored to have been involved in the death of his niece (found dead in his apartment). She may have committed suicide in response to abuse she'd suffered in his house.

His mother developed terminal breast cancer and was treated by Dr. Edward Bloch, a Jewish doctor who served the poor. After an operation and excruciatingly painful and expensive treatments with a dangerous drug, she died on December 21, 1907.

And there is a possibility, a remote possibility that Hitler's grandfather was Jewish. Hitler's father, Alois, was registered as an illegitimate child with no father. Alois' mother worked in the home of a wealthy Jew and there is some chance a son in that household got the woman (i.e., Hitler's grandmother) pregnant. Whether he is not is not as important, as whether people feel he is or not. That says a lot more. And it is also revealing that Hitler's grandmother worked as a maid in the house of wealthy Jews, and when he came to power, he tried to eviscerate the Jewish race. Did Hitler see the deaths of his siblings as stemming from poverty, and that the Jews, holders of wealth, had also withheld, in a way, Lives that were owed to him? He has a chapter in Mein Kampf (My Struggle) called Payback. And, interestingly, this worst of the world's criminals against humanity, was caught, was jailed, but was later set free to run amuck.

The point of all this conjecture is to simple ask: What was Hitler thinking? What motivated him to behave in the way that he did? Why did he do what he did to the Jews?

Hitler was the son of a 52 year old customs official and his third wife. Hitler was not his real name, his real surname was Schickelgruber. He took the name of his mother, rather than that of his father. Hitler tried to keep the murky history of his family quite secret because there was a high incidence of insanity and feeble-mindedness in his ancestors. There is considerable evidence that this family, the Schickelgruber's, produced abnormal progeny. One of Hitler's relatives through his mother's side committed suicide in 1920, another, Aloisha had been placed in an insane asylum, another was "feeble-minded," and yet another was retarded.

He was resentful, moody and discontented as a child. He was also prone to laziness, and deep hostility towards his strict, authoritarian father and strongly attached to his mother. She was hardworking, but indulgent. She died of cancer in December 1908 when Hitler was an adolescent.

There are some some insights into his unhappiness. There are imbalances, strictness, indulgences, loss of attachment at an early age, cold control from his father. This was within the confines of a middle working class family. Hitler left school at the age of sixteen, dreaming of becoming a painter. He lived in Vienna between 1907 and 1913. A woeful, bohemian existence, running between odd jobs, trying to hawk sketches, living hand to mouth and developing a dislike for poverty, and it was here that the hatred for the Jews, in Vienna, intensified.

Hitler studied Karl Lueger, and learned about 'pure blood', ideas which stayed with him for the rest of his life. His hatred for the Jews was rooted, to some degree, in his is own Christianity.

In May 1913, Hitler, seeking to avoid military service, left Vienna for Munich, the capital of Bavaria, following a windfall received from an aunt who was dying. In January, the police came to his door bearing a draft notice from the Austrian government. The document threatened a year in prison and a fine if he was found guilty of leaving his native land with the intent of evading conscription. Hitler was arrested on the spot and taken to the Austrian Consulate. Upon reporting to Salzburg for duty, he was found "unfit...too weak...and unable to bear arms."


When World War I was touched off by the assassination by a Serb of the heir to the Austrian Empire, Archduke Franz Ferdinand. Hitler's passions against foreigners, particularly Slavs, were inflamed. He was caught up in the patriotism of the time, and submitted a petition to enlist in the Bavarian army.

Hitler fought in World War 1. He proved an able, courageous soldier, receiving the Iron Cross (First Class) for bravery. He was badly gassed just four weeks before the end of the war. He took three months to recuperate in a hospital in Pomerania. Blinded and enraged by the abortive November 1918 revolution in Germany as well as the military defeat, Hitler, once restored, was convinced that fate had chosen him to rescue a humiliated nation.

Hitler chose the symbol for his Party, the Swastika. Swastikas are associated with ancient Troy, and have otherwise, throughout history, represented life, sun, power, strength and good luck. In the early 20th century, it was still considered a positive symbol. In China it is turned counterclockwise, and is used by Buddhists to refer to their holy shrines. Describing the new flag in Mein Kampf, Hitler said the swastika symbolized the victory of the Aryan man. Today the symbol that once represented life, sun and good luck is most commonly associated with the Holocaust and hate groups.

Hitler is not often remembered for making sweeping economic and infrastructural changes to Germany. Once in power, unemployment fell (women were sent home to be homemakers, men took their places at work), military spending increased, the Economy expanded, although it became seriously lopsided.
The World, in the 1930's, was in a state of profound Economic Depression. Germany felt this more than most. Money. No money. This always seems to be the prime cause for war, or any form of criminality. And Jews were blamed for the woes of the world.

Hitler said he intended to increase the living space for Germans, and Germans responded to him because Germany lost land in World War 1, and were both blamed for that war and given a huge debt ($6.6million) for the war to repay. German voters initially did not respond to his anti-semitic speeches. They didn't buy his lines that Germany's woes were the fault of the Jews.
Instead of honoring their debt, accepting the outcome of the last war, Germany pursued wealth and ambition, and attacked again. Interestingly, after unifying with Austria, and taking German speaking territory in Czechoslovakia, there was no reaction, no objection from France or England. Hitler even made the cover of Time magazine in 1939.
Then Hitler made a secret pact with Stalin, basically a deal in how they would carve up and share Eastern Europe. And with this scrap of paper in his pocket, Germany attacked Poland. Two days later, the West declared war on Germany. This caught Hitler by surprise. That's interesting, that he expected to get away with it. He started a pattern, and he'd learned he could get away with it, so he continued with it.

Hitler made astonishing progress at first, and expected a short war. He stopped short of invading Britain, but bombed it for good measure. He made a bold move into France, going through the central part of the Ardennes, territory believed impossible for tanks to cross, and humiliated the French. Stalin expected, hoped, for a long and erosive battle in France. He hoped to see the West beaten down in France. Poland was overrun in less than one month, Denmark and Norway in two months, Holland, Belgium, Luxemburg and France in six weeks. France fell in June 1940. But n ow Great Britain stood firm. The Battle of Britain, in which the Royal Air Force prevented the Luftwaffe from securing aerial control over the English Channel, was Hitler's first setback. It caused the planned invasion of the British Isles to be postponed.
And the Allies waited. So Hitler turned to what he wanted most, Eastern Europe.

He attacked Stalin before Stalin had a chance to attack him. This was the most crucial decision of his career, this invasion of Soviet Russia. The invasion took plave on June 22, 1941. Hitler rationalized the war on Russia with the idea that its destruction would prevent Great Britain from continuing the war with any prospect of success. German troops made it to within sight of Moscow and then the Russian Winter, one of the worst in history, hit. It was then that Hitler realised it would be a long war.

It is interesting to read that Hitler's strategies were often sound, were often more logical than those of his generals. What many forget is that hundreds of thousands of German troops waited for years on the Normandy beaches, while fierce fights had to be conducted in Russia. In the end, Germany overextended itself. Too many fronts, flagging supply lines, exhaustion. Although Stalingrad was a defeat, Germany would have lost its entire army in Russia if German troops had not contained, had not absorbed enormous attacks from the Russian war machine.

It was strategically sound not to surrender, in Russia, earlier than they did. While many view Hitler as mentally unstable, his military judgment was sound in many respects. Once Stalingrad was lost, Hitler began to blame the German people for failing him, and after surviving an assassination attempt, surrounded himself with lackeys who didn't dare disagree with him. Hitler now assumed personal control of all military operations, refusing to listen to advice, disregarding unpalatable facts and rejecting everything that did not fit into his preconceived picture of reality. This was a return, to the victimised Austrian boy whose mother had died, leaving him discontented, lazy, and unhappy.

As disaster came closer, Hitler buried himself in the unreal world of the Fuhrerbunker in Berlin, clutching at fantastic hopes that his "secret weapons," the V-1 and V-2 rockets, would yet turn the tide of war. He gestured wildly over maps, planned and directed attacks with non-existent armies and indulged in endless, night-long monologues which reflected his growing senility, misanthropy and contempt for the "cowardly failure" of the German people.

Many of the failures in Russia were as a result of procrastination, and failures at being decisive. Now Hitler went into a kind of dementia where he believed he was suffering from some or other imagined ailment. An acute hypochondria came over him.

As the Red Army approached Berlin and the Anglo-Americans reached the Elbe, on 19 March 1945 Hitler ordered the destruction of what remained of German industry, communications and transport systems. He was resolved that, if he did not survive, Germany too should be destroyed. The same ruthless nihilism and passion for destruction which had led to the extermination of six million Jews in death camps, to the biological "cleansing" of the sub-human Slavs and other subject peoples in the New Order, was finally turned on his own people.

While Berlin was burning, Hitler married his girlfriend. This is an interesting contrast, an aside, to the war. That not only did he have a girlfriend, but he obviously had a deep desire for a family. He poisoned his wife and himself, and shot himself through the mouth with a pistol before the Russians found his burnt remains. It is interesting that he shot himself through the mouth - the same dark, twittering hollow that spat out his speeches, that contaminated a nation, and the source of such profound annihilation.

It is interesting though to see how a life begins, runs its course and ends, and how gradually things become topheavy, become untenable, and then how power is lost, how confidence is seen for what it really is, *malevolence, reality is exposed, the light comes out and life turns. Hitler is remembered for his dark side, but the Holocaust is improperly seen as a slaughter of only the Jewish people. 5.25 - 6 million Jews were exterminated, but at least as many, yes at least 6 million non Jews, classed as undesirables, homosexuals, Poles, etc, were also gassed. That is a total of about 12 million civilians, Jew and Gentile.

It is also interesting that the West only decisively attacked in June 1944. That's very late. By that time, the Germans had fought for Stalingrad and lost, and Germany was already losing the war. It was obvious that Germany would lose the war by mid 1942. The Russians turned the German tide, and the Americans and British finished them off. But World War 2 was really about Russia and Germany, and Germany lost.

I believe it becomes important to ask why it is so important to have racism, why was it important for Hitler personally, to destroy the Jewish people. Was it a personal dislike, rooted in a family experience, embarrassment about his own genealogy, was it years of conditioning by an Economically deprived, and materialistic society?

These questions are important to ask. It is important to see beyond the obvious, because in the subtlety is all the magic or terror that we knowingly or unknowingly inflict on the world and ourselves.

I am conscious of racism now, as every application I make for a job, I have to state my nationality. Officially, there are 6 English speaking countries in the world, and all six can officially apply for work in South Korea. Unofficially, you must either be American or Canadian. South Africans, in many applications must fill in the ETC. box for nationality.

I realise, when you are refused work, based on nationality, that it disempowers, distorts and potentially demonises employer to the employee and vice versa. In reality, many employers know and respect the abilities of foreigners applying for work, and are more liberal. But they must respect their own target market, the parents. In peacetime this racism is uncomfortable and unpleasant, but if there was ever a war, one wonders where the East and West would stand, and what alliances would be held between the nations. It worries me that people, intelligent people many of them, lack discernment.

*malevolence

n 1: wishing evil to others [syn: malignity] [ant: benevolence] 2: the quality of threatening evil [syn: malevolency, malice]


Note: Some text has been copied here from http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Holocaust/hitler.html

Let There Be Color

This week might be warmer, so I might go out cycling tomorrow. Tomorrow is a holiday. Is it Arbor Day?

Today though I'd like to go swimming, and also, banking. I'm not sure if you can transfer money in this country, to another, without a residence permit. I guess I will find out.

Sunday: We had a delightful breakfast in Brian and Maikes spacious apartment. All healthy, all natural. I didn't sleep on Saturday night, not a wink, and endeavoured today to stay awake in order to get my sleep patterns right. I slept 3 hours after about 5pm, and then another 3 hours, between midnight and 3am. Other than that I have been wide awake. Peculiar.

I wonder whether I will hear anything in terms of my various applications. I know Jamie, from Seoul English Village is calling later this morning. I should probably call Andy and Phil today as well.

Since I've been awake despite the darkness, and had no sleep, I've installed an EA (Electronic Arts) Game called Return of the King. I've made awesome progress so far. Not sure if this is a good way to spend waking hours, in the wee hours of the morning. Maybe the excitement - because it does get the heart pounding - keeps sleep at bay.

Corneli has a bad cough, one that keeps recurring. Fortunately for her she has tomorrow off as well. Not nice to teach, to use one's voice, when one has a nagging cough like that. The air quality, especially at this time of year doesn't help.

I got an email from my dad with some news, and one from Arnaud saying the cycle to Bears Town was enjoyable, and I should come along next weekend.
Looking forward to warmer weather this week.

The Future

I've spent the evening surfing the net for good teaching positions, and also getting a schedule of this year's triathlons. The first race is on the 1st of May - that's quite soon.

I am focussing on what can be done, and what races to do, not on the limits.

If I have to choose between being negative, and hopeless, and frustrated, or being positive, and hopeful, and enthusiastic, obviously I am far more likely to find success and happiness with the latter.

Corneli is sick. I think going into Seoul after our late night last night, wasn't good for her. I stayed at home and rested. I also think making the leap from summer in South Africa, to winter here, is more stressful than one probably realises.

Breakfast with Brian later this morning. Need to sleep a bit first...

What's Eating Me?

I guess what is bugging me at the moment is that while there are plenty of jobs available in Korea, most schools would rather not hire South Africans. This has been my perception, but here it is in black and white:

Korean Perceptions
(from http://www.asia-pacific-connections.com/)

Korean society is very homogeneous. Because of this, Koreans find it difficult to view race, nationality, culture, and language as separate and variable elements; they tend to view these ideas as entirely dependent on one another, as that is the experience they've had for thousands of years. North Americans, of course, view ethnicity, nationality, culture, and language as separate elements. For example, someone might be racially sub-Saharan African, a Canadian national, have family from Haiti and Mexico, speak French as a first language and live in Los Angeles. For Koreans, this is hard to imagine.

Like people anywhere, Koreans view the world through their individual and group experiences of it and tend to extend these views to the new and unfamiliar, assuming that other people think like they do. This rather limited view is furthered by the fact that, until 1988, it was very difficult for South Koreans to get permission from their own government to travel abroad. Basically, Korea's experience of "the world" gone from tribal to global in less than one generation. The result of this is a society and world view that many "Westerners" consider racist, sexist, repressive, ageist, homophobic, and a variety of other unpleasant things.

Although most Korean school owners have dealt with lots of non-Koreans and hold more liberal views than many other Koreans, they have to respond to their market, which is Korean parents. I consider many Korean hiring practices offensive, but I prefer to be direct rather than to pretend something isn't happening:


Age: The oldest person I have ever succeeded in placing in Korea was 44. Most schools are looking for people between the ages of 23 and 35 -- some think 35 too old and won't hire those older than 30. However, some schools prefer people in their 30s, especially if they have had difficulties with "unreliable" younger people. Men over about 40 and women over 45 have little chance of being placed at a reputable school through the services of a recruiter. Schools that are willing to hire older applicants tend to hire directly as there are always more mature applicants for Korea than schools willing to hire.

Koreans tend to be doing similar things at similar ages. "I'm 26, so I'll be married in two years, and I'll have two children in five years," wouldn't be an unusual thing for a Korean to say. Doing something like moving to a foreign country for employment after the age of about 30 is hard for Koreans to imagine. Also, workplaces in Korea tend to be stratified by age, with older people in positions of power over younger people. A 35 year-old Korean man would feel very uncomfortable if he had a subordinate male employee in his 40s.

Gender: Most Korean language institutes hire men and women in approximately equal numbers and like to maintain an approximate gender balance in their teaching staffs. However, between two thirds and three quarters of applicants to teach in Korea are men. The result is that it is generally more difficult for men to be placed. APC hires approximately equal numbers of men and women, but always has more difficulty placing men.


Race / Ethnicity: Ironically, it is nearly impossible to place ethnic Asian applicants. When some Koreans see an ethnic Asian, they automatically assume the person is not a native-speaker of English. Since Koreans view race and nationality as inseparable, many of them do not think of non-European Americans or Canadians as "real" Canadians or Americans, and therefore non-native speakers. This is changing, but it still influences how Koreans respond to diversity in North America.


Physical Appearance: As there are fewer differences in physical appearance among Koreans than among North Americans or Australians, Koreans focus on smaller physical differences that many North Americans wouldn't even notice. What shade of black is her hair? What kind of eyelids does he have? Can she "pinch an inch," or an inch and a quarter? More distressingly, some Koreans, like many East Asians, view physical handicaps or less flattering physical differences as a reflection of personality or character. Concealing significant weight issues (i.e. 30lbs or more) or visible differences (e.g. missing fingers or mobility difficulties) from us may increase your chances of being hired by a Korean employer; however, this often backfires as problems will arise upon arrival in Korea. If your application is deceptive, neither I nor my Korean partners will take responsibility for the outcome. Be direct with me, and I'll be direct with you and give you the best advice I can so that you can make the most appropriate decisions for your own welfare and happiness.

Nationality: APC is based in North America and our Korean client-schools expect us to find Canadians and Americans for them. We have managed to place a few non-North Americans in the past. Schools that regularly accept non-North Americans often don't use recruiters as they have enough direct applicants. Note that it is nearly impossible for us to place South Africans. There are recruitment firms in South Africa that charge potential teachers a placement fee and then offer the teachers to schools in Korea for free. As APC charges schools a placement fee, schools are generally unwilling to hire South African teachers through us.

Our ability to place non-North Americans has always been a direct function of the current teaching market in Korea and applicants' flexibility. It's common for Korean school directors to offer non-North Americans lower salaries or demand ELT qualifications. If you are a non-North American with no experience or ELT qualifications and insist on being placed in central Seoul, we won't be able to help you. If, however, you are a non-North American with some experience (especially in Korea) and/or ELT qualifications, and you are flexible with desired location in Korea, please apply.


First Language / Accents: Korean employers in the children's market will not hire non-native speakers of English, no matter how slight your accent. Of course, a Russian native speaker who holds a doctorate in English-Language Teaching is going to be a better English teachers than an American English native speaker with a Bachelor of Commerce, but the native speaker will get the job in Korea. The quality of English teaching and learning would improve dramatically if Koreans agreed to hire some of the many Filipinos and Filipinas who hold degrees in early childhood education and speak excellent English, but a 20-something blonde North American woman with no teaching experience and an irrelevant degree will be preferred. Note that, even if you can pass for a native speaker of English among Koreans, your native-speaker co-workers may reveal to your employers that you are not a native speaker of English. Koreans involved in the language-teaching field are aware that eight million Canadians speak French as a first language and that thirty million Americans are native speakers of Spanish. If you are a native speaker of English with a French or Spanish name, be sure to emphasize that you are a native speaker of English on your resume.

Koreans are fixated on accent and will sometimes blame a native speaker's "accent," for their inability to understand spoken English. "Standard" North American accents are strongly preferred by most employers. As mentioned above, this makes Australians, New Zealanders, Brits, and Irish applicants difficult to place. Even regional North American accents can be problematic. Ironically, studies show that when Koreans actually have to use English for travel or business, the majority of the time it is in speaking with other non-native speakers (talking on the phone with a business partner in Beijing or Tokyo, for example); thus, this accent fixation is not serving Koreans interests, but it is hard to overcome.

About Taking Dependents: Most language schools in Korea do not provide accommodation or allowances for dependents of prospective teachers. For this reason, we are often unable to place qualified individuals who wish to take non-teaching spouses and/or children to Korea. Because of the cost of private English-language education and/or the cost of daycare, it is usually not practical, as a foreign teacher, to take children to Korea. Do not conceal from us your plans to take a child, pet, or non-working dependent to Korea. We will take no responsibility for the outcome, which will most likely be your school's refusal to employ you, or in the case of a pet, expensive housing relocations that your employer will expect to be compensated for. At worst, you could be left in Korea without a means of getting back to your home country. Applications that conceal intentions will be treated as fraudulent.

Couples / Groups: Placing couples (or two friends) can be difficult as it is a challenge to find two jobs at the same school at the same time. Housing is provided directly by the employer, so it is not usually possible to teach at different schools and live together. Many schools have had negative (and expensive) experiences with couples. If one person is unhappy, the school loses two teachers. If one person is not competent, the school loses two teachers. Applications from couples are welcome; however, flexibility in terms of start date and preferred locations are essential.

It is almost impossible to place groups of people. Please do not apply as a group of three or more. Schools that have three or more positions open at the same time are either brand new, which means they are probably disorganized and not a good environment for someone without Korea experience, or it means that the entire staff of a school has quit or been fired. None of these are pleasant employment situations.


Summary: Before you decide that Korea is not a place any open-minded person would want to visit, bear in mind that much of the above is true of most Asian societies. Furthermore, North America, Australia, and New Zealand are among the few places on earth where prejudice is not routine. I've met Texan Republicans who hold more liberal views on some of the above issues than do many European social democrats; people are products of their environments. English has become the primary language of international communication because English-speaking societies have been more accepting of different people than other societies have.
I sincerely hope that those surprised or offended by the above do not punish me for being honest. Many recruiters simply don't respond to applications from those in any of the above categories, or even those they suspect might by in any of the above categories. While I may not be able to place you in Korea, I'd like to be able to offer you any advice I can about pursuing an English language teaching career in Korea or elsewhere.

Haze

Today was hazy in Korea. I did not go cycling with the Seoul Synergy guys. Might have been good, but I couldn't see myself getting on the subway, with a hangover, and super sleep deprived, and sitting around for over an hour, and then have to repeat that after a 3 hour bike ride, all in pretty chilly conditions.

I'll continue running, as that needs a bit of work, and keep the swimming going. I need to identify the dates of the next couple of races that are coming up.

Back In the Outback

I'm finding it so easy to fall back into patterns that I thought I had left behind in South Africa. One is watching movies, another TV (especially the news), another is reading the news on the internet. I think the reason is, unless you have a nice group of people to hang out with on a consistent basis, you end up seeking escape in other things. I'd probably drink more if I wasn't into sport to the degree that I am, same with eating.

The pattern I need to cultivate is one of training (exercise), and of work, and possibly writing.

It's important to anticipate change, as opposed to react to change. It's also important to use time effectively...not to waste it. The same goes for money.

In the Outback restuarant today a redheaded girl approached Corneli. She is South African and married to a Korean guy. She's been here about as long as I have. She is also not keen on learning Korean as she feels she isn't understood even when she tries to speak it.

Brian called earlier this evening. We are going to have breakfast with him tomorrow morning at his apartment, with Maike. Should be interesting.

Hip Hop, Don't Drop

Went out with a few new faces to a Hip Hop joint in Gangnam. Very overcrowded and expensive. Lots of pretty faces but very sweaty, and some bozo G.I.'s walking around. One guy told me not to stand on his shoes because they were white. I told him to have a beer, and relax. Geez, I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise, and I saw him go into Aggro Mode.

I don't feel quite as charmed with the country after being out of it. I still kinda wonder what I am doing here.

Anyway it was fun and saw some interesting stuff. We were 6 people plus the driver in the taxi coming back. Need to Zzzzzzz.

Run For Your Life

I went running this evening, at sunset. About 25 minutes around the lake, very comfortable, easy pace. I feel a lot better. I really need exercise to maintain a healthy balance and focus.

After the run I went to fetch my TREK bike frame, which no one has been able to successfully wedge out of its prison cell under a staircase in what used to be Corneli's apartment. I was the third or fourth person to try to get it out, and finally, as I tried to do something, it kind've slipped out (after about 10 minutes of banging it upwards and sideways and this way and that) it sort of came out by itself.

Going out tonight with some of the local teachers here. Should be a nice change of scenery. Will also meet Ave, who has just come back from the Himalayas. That should be interesting. I've always wanted to go to the roof of the world. I was watching something I downloaded, an Imax movie called Everest, only 2 nights ago. Would be awesome to actually go there.

Waiting For Rain

Meaningful Living

And once you have a home...what happens? Arguments over which TV channel, barking dogs,cleaning the pool, an extra scoop of icecream, a telephone bill, socks in the bath, dogeared newspapers, a yellow duck in the refrigerator, a dummy in the sink, Rice Crispies and blocked toilets. When you're ready for this life, these aren't problems, they're part of the fabric of a family, a home, a meaningful life.

Transit

I feel like this is a picture of me. Polarised light, a clock on the wall, the lonely uncertainty but also the knowledge that not far away are others feeling the same thing. Bags packed, a life stored and waiting to be unravelled, again.

The Hours

In the movie, The Hours, Meryl Streep talks about wanting to be a newborn baby again (or was that Adaptation). I think that is symptomatic of being unwilling to live in our present reality, of being unwilling to proceed with our lives. It's understandable, sometimes, but it is infantile.

I meant to post this picture with the story about Australia. I know there is a demand for teachers there too - real teachers.

This and That

My existence seems to be suddenly dreary. It's cold everyday, and I am just not used to it. It's about 13 or 14 degrees.
What's worse my sleeping patterns are such that I only begin to feel sleepy at 6am. You can imagine how that wrecks a day. Either one stays awake and is miserably sleep deprived, or one sleeps according to the need and you never see the light of day. Urgh. I'm trapped!

I've looked into doing a CELTA course in Honolulu. That's a bit of escapism there.
I have sent my CV off to a few interesting looking schools. Will not hold my breath though.

I am feeling strangely out of sorts, and a bit lost to be honest. I guess I thought I could creep into a job and hide there for the time being. I guess I am just feeling bored, and need to start training again, for one thing. Also suddenly miss the happy South African faces that were around me, what seems now just once upon a time. Seems far away.

I see oil is predicted to shoot upwards from now on.
And in Australia, people are being paid to have extra kids. Apparently unemployment is extremely low, and salaries very high, and the population is aging. Interesting.

Well it's 5:30 am so I guess I'd better turn in for the day...foolish boy.

April's Fool

I thought April 1st would be day 1 of 365 of a new contract at a new school. But Andy called at 8pm and said he had had 'difficulty' convincing his boss that I was the one for the job. He offered me another position instead. The other position is not bad. But I am going to hold out for a few more days for a job teaching adults.

I had a peculiar realisation today. I am almost halfway through my life. I'm 33, and I reckon I will live to about 75 or so, but for all intents and purposes my life is halfway over. That is quite shocking! And it means I need to get cracking...