Improve Your Relationship With Your Boss (HOW TO)

From chron.com:

• Understand your job is to help the boss win. Focus on doing a great job and explain to him or her that you understand the importance of success.

• Listen for their best intentions. If your boss is delivering bad news, ask questions to better understand what it is that he or she needs. Help him or her build context for what should be communicated to others.

• Tell the truth, as you see it, in a neutral way. Your boss wants to know what you think, even if there is resistance at first. If you have an idea about how to help the company improve, share it.

• Schedule a time to meet if your boss doesn't schedule it for you. Take a notepad with you, an update of your work, and anything else you want to boast. Be brief in this meeting. If you schedule 30 minutes, take 15 and give time back.

• Visualize a great meeting or communication exchange before you get to the office and manifest that through the day.

• Stop gossiping, especially about your boss. It always gets back and usually without your context and intentions. Learn to turn away from the negative discussions people tend to spend too much time participating in.

These suggestions are from DJ Mitsch, co-founder and president of the Pyramid Resource Group, an executive coaching firm in Cary, N.C.

A Matter of Personal Preferences

Whether you're a boss, a parent, a leader (or someone attempting to take the lead), one of the most crucial questions to ask (and keep asking), is:
is this thing I'm requiring of another person a matter of my personal preferences, or is it, in fact, necessary in the scheme of things. Because there is a vital difference, and understanding and being able to differentiate can save a lot of heartache.

Of course, at the other extreme, not having personal preferences (having no opinion in other words) is just as bad. It will turn you (and yours) into Vanilla. So it's a question really of being discerning, assertive and to some extent equitable with regard to the dispensing of opinion.

Difficult

Personal preferences can at times be difficult to set a perimeter fence around. Where does the gray area of opinion, what-I-want-versus-what-you-want end?
See, requiring of your children or employees or domestiques - whomever - to do your bidding simply because this is what you prefer, well, it's a kind of emotional slavery. The result is that eventually you're going to incite rebellion. Why should we do things the way you want to, just because it's your way?

How to tell if your way is better than the highway:

- is it (objectively speaking) the best solution for all (and not just you)?
- is there evidence to support (that it will improve the bottom line)?
- is the mindset of the leader shared by a greater context (is it rational)?

Exceptions

There are exceptions to the rule, and these all belong to the artistic and creative fields. Design and creativity need to be set free, and sometimes ideas that seem illogical work very well creatively.

Movies and Ad Agencies

This is why movie directors and creatives (in ad agencies for example) need to be given free reign.
But there are other areas that are more difficult. Writing for example. When do you allow an editor to exert personal preferences over and above the 'license' of a writer? In this case experience tends to be the deciding factor. If the writer is experienced and successful, they should have more of a say. What about an up and coming writer, musician or artist, with no portfolio? Unfortunately, these people - who may have the goods - have to endure an unfair rite of passage as they negotiate paths flattened by hordes of inferior wannabes.

The challenge on our time remains: how to stand out from the crowd?
Meanwhile, the degree to which you despense underwarranted personal preference can retard not only your credibility, but also your likability. Do so with care.