Frustration

Frustration is building up. It seems like I'm bumping against inefficiencies (or just avoiding an actual collision) by the slimmest of margins. Yesterday I avoided rear-ending a Volvo out of sheer luck, and less than the length of my pinkie. I was putting in petrol, my pump was dry, and so the Volvo having filled up, pulled away to make space. I just didn't count on the lady only moving half a metre to make space. That I didn't smash into her was sheer luck.

At work today I have basically been rooted to my chair since 11am (it is now 16:34). I didn't have lunch as I needed to get something finished. Crazy! No wonder I have a boep. It gets wedged between rattling elbows and bent knees impatiently kicking around for purchase.

Vodacom. Ag please. I cannot believe what a bunch of scallywags they are. The ambiguous information they've sent through has got me into a tiz. I think the problem is a failure to listen. They keep insisting on telling you how their systems work, without stopping to actually go: OK, unique human person with unique set of problems, what do we have here. I've finally managed to understand my issues (no thanks to them). Apparently you only get your bill 2 months down the line. Their saying I would be getting an additional bill was an ambiguous statement blah blah blah. Also crazy the lengths to get itemised billing. You call, you visit the store, you get an sms (no fax comes through), you email copies of ID etc, then get a bill but not itemised, then you get the itemised bill but for the wrong period.

I've had the same frustration with my tax number. Filled in forms, gave them to someone. Faxed forms, called the toll free number - forms have disappeared. Repeat. Scan documents. Email them. They come back because SARS server does not accept attachments larger than 2BM. Resize. Computer says document is 1.79MB. Resend. Is sent back again. R2000 owed from another company has now been delayed for 2 months is it. Simply because documents aren't reaching their recipients. They're sent, just that the other end is blocked.

I still feel like I'm recovering from the frustration of training a shitload for SA champs and having Free State Cycling and CSA slam the door in my face, and throwing a rulebook at me while they were at it. Meanwhile, SA's star rider made exactly the same blapse as me, failing to register in time, and they did exactly what I accused them of not doing: being human beings and putting sport first, not fineprint.

It's these frustrations that make me wonder whether I need to continue pursue writing. I feel like I am being bombarded and bogged down in details, especially frustrating minutiae. So I never get on with what I'm trying to actually achieve. With the cycling example, having been prevented from riding, I raged against the machine, and all I really achieved was lengthy periods not training and putting on weight. I can't really be blamed for that - what is the point of training for an event, only to arrive and have officials fuck you around. Pardon my french but the language is entirely deserved.

In the end though, frustration can only be soothed by not serving it. By forgetting about it completely. There was one thing I also wanted to say, and I hope you don't mind if I spend another hour or so ranting on this particular subject. It starts...er... Sorry, I've forgotten what i was upset about ;-)