Half the battle of achievement is simply having a ‘willing spirit’. The other half is knowing what you want to do.
I always find a bit of self-help study a boost to either keeping me on track, or getting me on track, or recognizing that I am in the gutter and offering me a way out. At the moment I’m experiencing all three in different areas of my life.
Dr Phil is good at cutting through the clutter and getting to what matters. So here’s his advice on acquiring goals:
1). Express your goal in terms of specific events or actions.* Don’t say, I want to be rich. Say, I will do this course at university, I will print teach shirts, I will do so and so to be rich. I will get a job as a salesman. The same goes for namby pamby wishy washy goals like, I want to be in love, I want to be happy. Express that desire in terms of what you can do to be in that state. For example: to be happy, I will travel to the Amazon and explore the jungle. To be in love I will take care of myself, I will exercise, and smile, and be kind and friendly and attractive to the opposite sex.
2).Express your goal in terms that can be measured. How many t-shirts will you print, how much do they cost, what will you charge? Or, if you’re looking for a partner, decide on the qualities that are important to you. If it’s truth and integrity you might want to go to church or spend time in bookstores. If it’s fun and excitement, you might want to start skydiving or adventure racing. If you want to be rich you could plot how much money you want to save per month, or 6 months, per year.
Robert T. Kiyosaki (the Rich Dad, Poor Dad writer) set himself a goal to be a millionaire, and able to retire in 10 years (when he was 34 or 35). He achieved it 9 years later. It was a measurable goal, and it was stated in simple language.
3). Assign a timeline. You’ve probably heard it said that goals are dreams with deadlines. Well, it’s important to add a timeframe. Why? Because a timeframe adds that vital dynamic called URGENCY. Without urgency we can have all the plans in the world and the best intentions and life will continue to move at a snails’ pace, leaving behind a trail of slime wherever it takes you. A timeline gets you off the couch and away from TV and games. It gets you activated and urgent and working.
You want a girlfriend? Give yourself 3 months to get yourself ready to be a good boyfriend. You want to open a t-shirt shop? Decide when you’ll take over the premises and make your first over the counter sales. Want to run a marathon? Find one and then count down the weeks towards it.
4). Choose a goal you can control. You can manipulate and control an environment in some ways to make it more pleasant, more professional, more in terms of what you are trying to achieve. You can also change your own appearance, and how you present yourself. But don’t attempt to hope or aim for things that are beyond your control, such as the whims of others, the weather and many other things. Focus on what you can change, not on what’s beyond your control.
5). Plan and program a strategy that will get you to your goal. A goal is good but you need to break it down into smaller steps. The smaller the better. A good example is a goal of losing a certain amount of weight. There are an infinite number of smaller strategies that can help realize this goal. Walking to work, walking up stairs instead of taking the elevator, drinking more water, cutting out sodas, eating more fruit, staying away from fast food, avoiding chocolate and white bread, spending more time playing with the dog in a nearby park, less time watching TV and sleeping and so on.
Imagine all the details, and add them into a lifestyle where the habits add up to the goal you have set for yourself.
6). Define your goal in terms of steps. It’s similar to the point mentioned above except, here we are looking at progression. If the ultimate goal is to lose 5kg in 5 months, then losing 1 kg in the 1st month is the first step. Joining a gym or going jogging at 5pm every Monday is another step. A step is something new that you do or that has to be done.
7). Create accountability for your progress towards your goal. You’ve set a deadline, and so if you start to deviate from it there must be a system in place to keep you on track. If you’ve only lost 500g in your first month (instead of 1kg as planned), it means you need to double your effort. It means you have to account for the deficit, and say, OK, I will work harder in this area, I’ll run 3 times a week instead of twice, or I’ll run for an hour each time instead of 30 minutes). You’ll be finding ways to improve in this area and that area and this area here.
Now I’d also like to recommend another great way to create change, possibly permanent change, in your life. For 7 days you put yourself on a mental diet. For 7 days you do not say or think anything negative. That means, if someone criticizes you or insults you, or you find yourself in an awkward situation, you find a way of being engaged and responding in a constructive, positive way.
You’re allowed to make mistakes, you’re of course allowed to think, in a flash, a negative thought, but each and every time you have to undo those thoughts one on one. Say, well I am tired but just think how good I’ll feel when I’m done with all this. Or if you say something negative, you have to undo it: “I’m sorry, I meant to ask you if you were glad it’s weekend, not if you’re tired. It’s going to be a good weekend, don’t you think?”
Most people find that the first day or two are easy. It becomes very hard to keep this up on the 4th or 5th day. If you find yourself becoming negative again, you have to start over. The challenge is, to live 7 days being absolutely positive, seeing the positive and good in everything. Not in a disconnected, born again Christian way. In a real hey-what’s-really-good-about-this-way.
Please write and tell us how well you do on the 7 day mental diet.
*From Life Strategies, Doing what works, Doing what matters by Phillip C. McGraw.
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