1 394/Vertigo

It's hard to tell, when you take flu medication, what part is the yuk of the actual infection, and what part is the wooziness of the medication. I once took flu medication for its drowzy-inducing effects and felt weak and sick the next day.

This morning though, I could barely croak out words, and spat out (this is disgusting) some palm sized gobs of green.

My philosophy when you are sick, is :
- get all the phlegm out of your body any which way you can
- rest (sleep is best)
- drink plenty of water
- figure out what you've done that has caused your body to break down and break the pattern

Believe it or not, I slept away most of the afternoon. The director called at 2pm on the dot, and even my husky voice wasn't enough to persuade him I wasn't well.
I explained that I had emailed one of the teachers to tell her I wouldn't be coming, and had also called the school at two different numbers and got a sing-song answering machine message. Not sure if he understood any of that. Once I told him I'll see him tomorrow, he seemed to feel better, and hung up.

Charles, a Korean guy, also called, wanting to know whether we were still going to get together for dinner. He's apparently going to study something in the States soon. Was quite funny talking to him. I must have sounded like Gollum, but he still wanted a decent chat.

Corneli, my guardian angel in Korea, just came over with some sandwiches and orange juice. She showed me a picture while she was here of her Halloween experience. Looked like a lot of fun.

My head feels dizzy and beaten up, even my skin feels raw. Throat is not so sore though. Hopefully after a good sleep I'll have some energy back. I expect I'll go to school tomorrow and hand out a lot of Hidden Message Puzzlers.

I also spent some reading my 2002 diary today. I was silently shocked at some of the things I read. I guess I have put a lot of that behind me, but it was like a chapter of horror reading this script, penned in my own hand. And no doubt I didn't put all that stuff behind me.

Diary Extract

October 28, Monday, 2002
Feeling pretty blue - don't know why? Maybe just disorientated. Maybe just feel pushed around and tricked a bit. In a few weeks I'll be back into a good routine I reckon.

I read, for example, about a guy I stayed with in 2002 who was coming into my room and using my stuff all the time, my computer, my CD player, my soap, food and water and for a while that was okay. I was open and flexible and tried to make the most of it and initially things were fine. He seemed like a happy and fun guy, with lots of enthusiasm. But then he wanted to meet my friends and go out with them, and then he started bonking various girls. After all that, he got this arrogant attitude that he was All That, and he started to make impertinent remarks. Why didn't I have a girlfriend, and was I gay? He seemed to think he knew all the answers. When I spoke to him though, he had a hard time understanding me. I had to translate English into English - like 'tap to faucet', and 'boot' to 'hood' and generally slow down my conversation so that he could get it. Everything he said was in Slanglish: "supercool, wired, let's bounce...'
I'll never forget one day in the elevator, on the way to school, he looked in the mirror and said, "I look really good today."
He was coughing blood a few weeks later. After an ongoing series of drunken late nights, night after night, he picked up pneumonia.
I first thought it was a healthy and abundant sense of self confidence. He turned out to be a loudmouthed dimwit who was just totally star struck with himself. He walked around shouting at Koreans, shouting 'Hello' and referred to girls he'd met as whores, even those who weren't in the oldest profession.
"I met some whores in Itaewon..."
His snide remarks and eventually insults (mostly concerning my not having a girlfriend, as if this was some kind of cardinal sin) then led to me putting my stuff off limits, and then he spread rumors at school that somehow got me booted out my apartment. Maybe he told them I was a hellraiser, drunk all the time, coming home shouting...or wait, shouldn't that have been my story?
Conveniently, his buddy moved in after I moved out. He didn't know it then, but that (my own place)was what I wanted all along. I was happy to move out, but not very impressed that this cheeky upstart was getting his way by false advertising. He owed me some money, not a lot, and when I moved out I asked him to pay for it. He said, "I'm not giving you any money. What you gonna do about it?"
Was I supposed to fight him for W10 000?
He tried one more thing. A bill for a correspondence course kept arriving at the school. The name though: Der Van, was incorrect. I had asked about the course but not signed up, but the inquiry seemed to have put in into an automatic mail billing. The upshot of it was, this roommate of mine, asked all the teachers if they knew anything about it, when they said no, he contacted the school and gave them my full details. I had to write back to them to remind them that I had just expressed an interest in the program and they were billing me even though I had was not involved in the course. They cancelled the bill, and nothing more was sent after that. Nice guy eh.

I have felt a weird sense of Vertigo about the next week. Having taken the day off work gives me a sense of appreciation that I have a job at all...but also a sense that a change is, given my circumstances, certainly called for.
Like the above scenario, I think the danger is to remain too long in a place that isn't good for your health or wellbeing.