Yellow

Each day is getting harder to get through, since each day I feel worse and can barely even speak. A lot of people are sniffing or have colds so I am not alone, but tomorrow we have a serious session of mock teaching and my voicebox is holding on by a thread. It's just not a fun situation for me at all.

Only 2 of at least 20 trainees passed those grammar tests we took, in other words, only two got 16 or more out of 20. The average was 12. We get a re-test on Wednesday, after having concluded the entire course, and I am now wondering whether it is worth it. Each day is just 4 hours of miserable subway travelling, and the associated costs, and no guarantees even now of where I will be working.

A professional work environment seems like a worthy goal, but so far it is proving very very highly regimented, and this grammar test kind've shows they are going over the top in terms of their evaluations. It's not very realistic, and this is after all about graduates and better doing training to be elementary school teachers. It feels like we're like first time astronauts being led step by step into space.

So I am seriously wondering whether it is worth it. I have already invested a lot of myself, and made a good impression, but now starting to feel I am committing myself and submitting myself against, you know, what I really, honestly want or am comfortable with.

I guess this is like that point you get to on the run in the Ironman, where you realise you are nowhere. It's frustrating. I guess one must just keep on going. I hope the analogy works. I had committing myself genuinely and responsibly and then finding it was actually an abuse of my trust, and just service to the selfish ambitions of a company that actually doesn't care about me one way or another.

How about an online vote. Write your comments below, how many feel I must continue and try to complete the course, how many say, Hey, move onto something else?

Below is an article on yellow dust that is hanging like a shroad over Seoul. Visibility is 1-2km.

Worst yellow dust storm to hit Korea today

The season's worst yellow dust storm is expected to hit Korea today, blanketing most parts of the peninsula with a layer of dust.
"After the morning rain, the thickest yellow dust will land in Korea, carried by strong eastward winds from China, and will affect the country before dissipating tomorrow," the Korea Meteorological Administration said on its Web site yesterday.
The weather authorities warned citizens that the density of dust particles and pollution blowing in from northeastern China could reach the highest level of over 1,000 micrograms per cubic meter.

The KMA issues the highest warning when the dust level in the air reaches and remains over 1,000 micrograms for an hour.

In the Gobi Desert and Inner Mongolia where the sandstorms began yesterday and the day before, dust storms of a density over 9,000 micrograms per cubic meter were reported, KMA said.

"People should take heed of weather news tomorrow since there is a good chance that the highest level of warning can be posted," KMA said.
When the highest warning is issued, schools should consider suspending classes and even closing for the day, and children, senior citizens and those with respiratory diseases are urged to stay indoors.

Livestock raisers should also prepare against the yellow dust storm, KMA advised.
(milaya@heraldm.com)
By Lee Sun-young