Homer's Scream

Driving up Glenhove road this morning (the busy section just ofter you cross the M1) and heading up to Rosebank, I'm listening to 94.7 and it's about a guy who has suffered massive trauma in a car accident. Even Jerry Mansfield is moved to tears. While he was in a coma his wife died, and his poor children, the eldest just 12, had to deal with their mother's death on their own, going to her funeral whilst their father fought for his life. The dad survived, and while listening to this a white bakkie tried to overtake me. Yup, on Glenhove road in peak hour traffic, and I'm going uphill at 70km/h.

At the Oxford road intersection the bakkie pulls up on my left, so I lower my window. I ask the fella if he's listening to the 94.7 and amazingly he says 'Yes,' and smiles. Seems like a nice friendly oke. I tell him that he's just tried to overtake me on a helluva busy road whilst listening to a guy who punctured his lung and God knows what, lost his wife in a car accident that has permanently devastated his whole family - is it worth it? Is it worth the risk? Because - I tell him - even if you did overtake me, you would still have ended up waiting at this traffic light. Then the traffic light went green and off we went again.

Meanwhile, this morning my corpse rose from the dead at 4:30am for a cycle. I had a dream recently that I was in a car accident, and it's been in the back of my mind, I guess, to be extra vigilant. This morning was misty, and we missed the bunch, so rode hard to try to catch up to them. At one point we reached an intersection, the light just went green for traffic crossing as we approached, and Alex seemed to get the message from the car hovering there that he could go through. I was behind Alex, so I was alert to the fact that it was a bit more iffy for me. So I followed him through, and as I did, another car came around the side of the waiting car at the last moment. I swung out wide but JEEPERS I felt like I'd been drawn into a computer game sting...and a million vaults went through my body.

Today's stats:
Time - 1:38:54
HR: 148/172
Distance: 46km
Average speed: 27.9 (coming down the dip in the last 250m of the ride, going at high speed, a car approached it's driveway...another near miss)
Maximum speed: 77km/h
Temp: 15 min/24 max
Ascent: 525
Kcal: 1570

Ja, I've been playing an awesome computer game which must be good for survival skills and reflexes, but going to bed at 2am and last night after midnight and then getting up at 4:30am...
I feel myself falling asleep - I can hear Homer's yelpy scream every time I do ;-)

Shut Up and Drive

South African drivers need to lose the attitude and concentrate on staying alive

Driving at night on the nations highways is dangerous and with the rain this weekend and holiday traffic it was even more treacherous. Given South Africa’s road accident statistics, we have a lot to learn.

I've been looking for a driver who's qualified
So if you think that you're the one step into my ride
I'm a fine-tuned supersonic speed machine
With a sunroof top and a gangster lean

Compared to international standards, South Africans drive a lot faster than in other countries. And compared to international standards, South Africans penchant for drinking and driving is a concern.

Day to Day

The daily commute is nevertheless a good place to start. How it works is that all things being equal, all traffic ought to move along in their lanes at a similar pace. But in their wisdom, some individuals feel that getting to point B one full minute ahead of everyone else is worth the risk of a fender bender. Actually, it’s not worth the risk.

If you have ever been in a traffic accident, you’ll know that a collision causes time to stand still, so cancel all your appointments and clear your desk for the morning or afternoon of your accident. Then, prepare to export a few thousand rand from your disposable income, whether you were at fault or not.

So you’ll see Type A people start to hop in and out of lanes, and they may get a few hundred metres of everyone else. That minute really isn’t worth the fuss.


So if you feel me let me know, know, know
Come on now what you waiting for, for, for
My engine's ready to explode, explode, explode
So start me up and watch me go, go, go, go

Inviting Road Rage

In Houghton I once found myself at an intersection, with my view of cars on the left blocked by a large bakkie that was turning left. It was only once this car had turned and gone that I had visibility to begin to cross the intersection.

At this point another vehicle cheekily slotted in to the slot left by the bakkie, she edged in front of me, then crossed the intersection. I followed in the next few seconds, but I was angered. The woman in the car ahead of mine probably thought she was much smarter than I was, but that sort of behavior invites anger, not respect.

People know when they are being cheeky on the roads. If you do something that puts yourself in front of another driver at their expense, you’re doing something wrong.


Got you where you wanna go if you know what i mean
Got a ride that smoother than a limosine
Can you handle the curves? Can you run all the lights?
If you can baby boy then we can go all night

Spiteful Driving

During a recent night drive to Bloemfontein over the weekend, I was faced with several bottlenecks around trucks. The situation for me was exacerbated because I started the trip in a 90 minute traffic jam, and so I wanted to get through the rest of trip safely, but efficiently.
Experience as a cyclist and swimmer - especially lane swimming – has its advantages in this sort of situation. In sport you learn to apply things like speed, anticipation and momentum.


I got class like a 57 cadillac
Got all the drive but a whole lot of boom in the back
You look like you can handle whats under my hood
You keep saying that you will boy I wish you would

Balancing Risk

When you’re driving, risk has to be balanced. Nervous drivers who find themselves too afraid to pass slow moving trucks, create a longer continuous barrier for the vehicles behind. This increases the stakes for each successive overtaking vehicle.

These drivers must drop back, allowing other vehicles to fill the hole behind the truck and be able to pass when the small window opens. During my drive to Bloem there were many of these truck-headed-snakes snagging along the N1.

It’s easy to pass these snakes if you approach at a decent speed. When driving at night you have the added advantage of seeing approaching headlights before you see the cars. But this can be tricky. Even so, it is less risky to pass by quickly on approach, using the momentum you already have, than to join these ‘snags’ and then have to attempt to pass from the point of reduced speed. This naturally means you’ll be spending more time overtaking, and here, crucially, every half second counts.


Cos you play the game, got what I got (Get it Get it)
Don't Stop It's a sure shot
Aint no ferrari huh boy I'm sorry
I ain't even worried
So step inside and ride(ride, ride, ride, ride, ride...)

Hypocrisy

What I noticed on Friday and Sunday, when I overtook some of the drivers stuck behind slow traffic, was that some drivers would rapidly flash their brights at me – not apparently to help me, but to say ‘HEY! Get in line!’ Or perhaps to say: ‘What you’re doing is not safe.’ If that really is the position – that these fellow road users care – they should not then sabotage the endeavor by attempting to blind the driver that’s trying to overtake. How does that make sense?

Never mind that when overtaking you need to be at your full wits, and here you have drivers attempting to blind you at the crucial moment. Let’s face it, car accidents are one of the leading causes of death after heart attacks and cancers. The odds of you dying in a car accident are high.
For the egotistical drivers out there, if you want to stay alive and undamaged - shut up and drive!