This Space 1, 2 and 3 years ago

October 4, 2006:

yet not
on the outside of it
the underside
the right side
the wrong side
never the inside
never knowing where is the glue
or a tall glass
or socks
or something warm
just comfortable
in passing
to some home away from home

in some other street
in some world beyond your street
beyond four square walls
and three square meals
and portraits by uncles and brothers
and of a dead mother

there is some appreciation
at last
of what it takes
to have a home
much less
to run one
to run one's family in one
in a box that you've made for your family

so what if you're not one
for living in a box
not even a cardboard box
that means
whereever I am
I'm home
alone

yet not
on the outside of it
the underside
the right side
the wrong side
never the inside
never knowing where is the glue
or a tall glass
or socks
or something warm
just comfortable
in passing
to some home away from home

Perhaps...
not yet
Not Yet
image courtesy topleftpixel.com

October 4 2005



Woke up feeling very good this morning, and the cool, sunny day made me want to be out exercising. I even felt tempted to extend my stay in Korea. But my first class reminded me that there are other factors at play, and by halfway I was feeling feverish and very tired. One thing I've had enough of this weekend is sleep, so something is up if after so much sleep I still feel drained.

Went running anyway, in the park, with Corneli. Was very nice, as we jumped 'onto the bus' with a few groups chugging past, some at a nice pace. When I slotted in behind one group I elevated my heart rate to 170, and we were just trotting. That is a sign that I have some bug that is effecting my heart. So took it easy after that:

Run: 8.5km (rough esitmate, we ran a sort of figure of eight loop, so not exactly certain about the distance)
Time: 58:30
Hr: 149 avg/ 170 max
Kcal: 1070
Temperature: 26 C (That can't be right, was more like 17 C)

Pilates: 5 minutes

Core felt very tired, probably from a combination of recent rollerbalding and the 10 pullups on Sunday where I took so much strain. Also did some stretching.
Pullups today felt a lot easier. The pullups on Sunday may have felt harder because I did them with rollerblade pads on, and I'd had a fairly big dinner with a lot of water earlier in the evening.

I've registered for a marathon in November, so want to do a few runs before then.
Feeling pretty drained now.

For more on this date, click here.

This is not quite 3 years ago as this blog started October 29, 2004:


This is Amanda Beard. She is an excellent breastroke swimmer and as far as I know, Ryk Neethling's girlfriend. I swam with Ryk, or more accurately, we swam with the same squad, and under the same swim coach, some years ago. I emailed him before the men's relay and he emailed me back, telling me when the race was. It was pretty amazing because they got a world record, and beat the Americans (including Phelps). The email was amazing too because Ryk got something like 1500 emails around the time of the Olympics.

When I first saw this picture, and I think I found it on the New York Times website, I felt claustrophia. It was weird to feel this terrible sense of breathlessness just from looking at a picture. It's because you can't tell where she needs to swim to get air. I stared at this picture late at night and I couldn't breathe. I'd like to know whether anyone else gets a similar impulse.

It's also kind've mournful, and Big Blue-ish, which I think makes it quietly beautiful.