Sunday, December 04, 2005

Stand-up Comedy

When I worked as an English teacher in South Korea, I felt I should try stand up comedy as a next job. The job isn't that much of a leap.
"How was your weekend?"
"I am a computer game."

This evening, after watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, I went with Justus to The Windmill, a new casino just outside Bloemfontein. It's actually very nice. It feels like PE.
I gambled with R10 and then watched the people. People amaze me. They can be perfectly happy, happily entertained, sitting in a chair, watching stickers spinning, and punching the same button over and over again, in the hope that some red digits (that represent money) will cycle upwards. This hope, it seems, keeps them glued to their seats, and allows them to part with who knows what sort of sums of money.
It kind of worries me that the human animal is such a simple animal. It's maybe a necessarily thing that a microbe called H5N1 starts to take careful aim at such a ridiculous species.

I got my chance to do some stand-up when the comedians on the stage (we were front row, so got plenty of attention) offered an open mike. Mia, Justus' friend, made a few jokes. Another guy made a joke about a catholics and golf, and Mario Augustie, looking like a chipmunk on steroids, waddled on stage. His opening chirp: "Are there any Dutchmen here?" Then, looking at me: "Are you from Noordhoek? You guys are so poor you go to KFC and to lick the chicken off other people's fingers?" Guess who won the prize? Mario.
He came to me later to apologise if he'd offended me.
I was sort've thinking of taking to the stage, if just to provide some robust comedy. Unfortunately the only funny thing I had in mind had something to do with a dwarf and a little girl at a dinner table. When one comedian pointed to me, and asked me to switch my cap the other way round, I must say, I didn't see much humor in it. I decided not to tempt fate...I was in a bit of sensitive mood because of some unfunny sms's and because I guess I was disappointed to have to go to movies by myself. It seems people siesta in Bloemfontein on Saturday afternoons; sorry, I forgot.
But I would like to go to Windmills when I'm feeling more invincible. I'll put on my superman shirt, and hurl a few diabtribes. One thing that resonates with me is Kinison's anger. My trademark phrase: (through gritted teeth), "If you don't laugh at this I'm going to bliksem you."

There's a triathlon championship in Vanderbijlpark tomorrow. If I can arrange a lift back with one of the triathletes I'll go and watch that. Maybe get some good photos too.

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