[Opinion] Keeping a diary online really does encourage narcissism
by Claire George
Published 2007-05-03 13:30 (KST)
On May 2 citizen reporter Nick van der Leek asked whether blogs are worth anything. He concluded that while personal blogging can be narcissistic, Web logs that share important information do have value.I read the story with interest because I am very fond of blogs. I agree wholeheartedly with Nick's conclusion.
I used to keep a personal diary style blog, detailing my frustrations and hopes for the future. I found it very helpful because writing aids me in decision making. I'm also someone that appreciates advice from others who have had similar experiences, so I liked getting comments.I must confess though that this kind of blogging encouraged me to be narcissistic and self-centered. I don't think it's healthy for anyone to spend an hour a day writing about their innermost thoughts; unless a psychiatrist has told them that they need to do so.
My navel gazing encouraged me to focus on insignificant problems and turn them into mountains. If I was worried about something I repeatedly wrote about it until I became stuck in a groove and unable to think about anything else.My self-absorption spread beyond the allotted hour because like many bloggers I composed posts in my head while doing other things.
Eventually, I am ashamed to say, my blogging topics became my sole subject of conversation. I cringe to think about it now.I'm sure that my blogging addiction arose because I was a graduate school student. I spent a great deal of time on my own studying and writing. My isolation undoubtedly encouraged my behavior, and I'm positive that other blog addicts are also using the Internet as a substitute for human contact. When I first arrived in Korea I was still a keen blogger because as a foreigner I was very isolated.These days my life is different. I have a job that needs people skills so I can't afford to dwell on myself all the time.
In the evenings I go to the gym, where I don't talk much because of the language barrier, but I benefit from being in a social environment and focusing on my physicality. I no longer feel the need to keep a daily record of my thoughts on the Internet.I don't think that having a personal diary on the Web is a bad thing as long as the writer isn't too attached to it. To anyone who is as addicted to their online diary as I was, I would say "go out and be with people." I finally stopped personal diary style blogging when it began to seem pointless.
I no longer benefited from interaction with other bloggers because I had enough human contact in my daily life.The sense that I was holding my inner life up to the judgment of strangers also became too strong. The readers' interest in me stopped being a comfort and finally felt intrusive. I was irritated by even the most well intentioned comments. I was fed up with being a soap opera.Despite my experience I still have a blog that I update once or twice a week.
I write about tourist attractions in Seoul and take pleasure from thinking up useful tips and hints for readers. In comparison blogging about my innermost thoughts was never very useful to anybody.Of course there is a danger that blogging about Seoul could turn me into a pompous so and so. Just as keeping an online diary encourages narcissism, subject blogging can lead some writers to flatter themselves into believing they are great authorities.I hope that will not happen to me, but if it does I am sure that something will jolt me to my senses -- eventually.
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